i'm loving, but who could love me?

"the perfect song."

"the perfect song."
heart -sleeping at last

I still remember the "best day ever."
nothing bad happened that day
it was perfect
because it held small imperfections
that cracked the mold
and there
my happiness was to grow

that day
i felt like a red, red rose
bold
and strong

I felt so happy that I could die
as long as i had
the perfect song
i couldn't be sad

because i had my favorite tune
to take me away
to soothe any pain
that came
when i thought
i couldn't be
all that i promised i was

but don't you know?
some symphonies don't make sound at all
this particular song
was made
unlike any other
violins
were no match
for the feeling
of a song

with no music at all

for one day only
i understood
why the deaf man smiles

because the feeling of
music
in love

does not have to hold any certain melody
maybe
my lover is made of
flats and sharps
rests and sudden crescendos
and then
a shy diminuendo 
and out of tune mess
when we kiss
when i feel that beating in their chest

maybe my love
is
not the perfect song
but
don't misinterpret my taste in music
my lover
is still the best
song

because my love
changes
each and every day

a song that goes on and on
i never grow tired of hearing sad symphonies of pain

or the laughing face
that remains
in only a memories place

black and white
with my own music to replace
the symphony i cannot obtain

music
is forever

and so are these memories
that we make
some are like songs
and some are like the epitome of loss

but my love
and i
will never grow tired
of the song
that beats inside

and together
the song is a mess
a lonesome ballad
met moonlight sonata

and madness
is what the composer said
but madness
is the very thing we breathe for

what we lay awake
and grieve for
obsessed with give and take

we hardly understand
that our actions
our words
become our reality
we are
what we create

and in a composers world
that would be divine
but sometimes
we often create
little mistakes
in our
deaf tune

sometimes
so big
that they ring through my ear drum
awakening my auditory nerves
my bones ignite in surprise

i hear my creation
but
it's only one
and with no one to listen
i grow tired of the tune
and wish for the times
of deaf love in the parking lot
turning the radio static up to thirty three
watching the sky grow red
as i did not hear the symphonies of love
i
felt them
instead

••••

love is cool
sometimeS