i'm loving, but who could love me?

"heartthrob."

"heartthrob."
mon cherie amour -stevie wonder

severed from my past
i found the truth
what used to hurt only feels like a brush of glass over my skin
they do not know what we did
in the whispers of the wonders of the world
they will not know the independence of a man to turn reliant of a girl who holds twice of everything
she's happy she's sad
but her happy is so
oh
his happy is so
bottled
her happy is explosive
one glimpse and she's a feverish kiss
she's a moonlit gift
she's sunshine that touches your skin when
nobody else did
my emotions reset every thirty days
but him? his?
every testosterone filled body I've kissed
resets their mind twenty four hours at a time

i want to say something here
but i think it's already been said

in the film body heat
something reminded me
of the ways i felt life was supposed to be

i am wrong
i am mistaken

and in the end
it was worth the tears
it was worth my blood
it was worth it
because im still here

and whatever it took
whatever it had to be to make me realize me

i found it in places i thought to never illuminate
i found life in death
they found light in my dead eyes
these eyes now shine

i could twist my words in ways to make them think
i could taunt and tease and make something out of nothing
but talk is cheap
sex is not deep
they put ice in a warm bath in the film body heat

the warmth is lovely
fire is lovely
hearts frozen over
i knocked a few times wondering if my heart would answer
i sometimes believe i do not have one of those anymore
i could try to use my words to show you i know this feeling
i know what it felt like

but i tend to over analyze
everything i do has to have purpose
and this is why
i write the most beautiful things
because to keep them inside
would be deadly to me
not for the likes of them

i guess im lost again

it was worth every last bit
i died before
they cannot kill me again
there's nothing that can hurt more

talk is dangerous
sometimes it makes things happen
sometimes it makes things real

-body heat.