i'm loving, but who could love me?

"god wants you to shine."

"god wants you to shine."
butterfly -corrine bailey rae
jet fuel -mac
2009 -mac

i close my eyes and lay in the safest place in my universe

it looks
cozy yet empty

the room isn't much
it's not too big

but it's big enough

to just

stay there forever
if i must

i would confine myself to those 4 walls
forever in a blink

and i wouldn't mourn a thing
"why?" is what they'd ask me.

there's always love in that room
it's always cold
but when it warms
and the heater hums
and the sounds of the outside world try to rock me
or shock me
out of sleep

im reassured
that in that room
that i would reside in

is only peaceful
is only kind
is only safe

and in the silence
in the draft
in the cold air

i felt nothing there
i was lost
and then found

it is strange
and beautiful
to be loved
out loud

when i
was a child
i used to pretend
to read big books
in my grandpas library room
i did not understand the words
but i understood they were important
and they were to be kept
safe

in a four
walled
room

like books
like me
like you

i was meant to be kept
safe
in my room
forever
in a
blink

like my grandpas library
and listening to jet fuel