i'm loving, but who could love me?

"stormy weather."

"stormy weather."
oh nadine-willow smith

if i must be
something
i must be lucky
that you see something in me that i can't see
all words lovely
and completely out of my vocabulary
there's nothing that i could say to myself
that i'd believe
only because
i forgot how that felt
or what it means
she tore down my ego
and i listened
i waited for the sun to come
i waited for a shimmer
a glisten of hope
a way to move peacefully

but im losing the meaning
when she left
the sun fell down
set in my chest
heavy and heaving
everyday i breathe
it's like she's continuously staying and leaving

good things go
the best don't though
maybe i haven't been blessed yet

the ships are coming in
my breath is felt by the death of my shortcomings
and subtle mistakes
your words are heavy and important
they take the weight
and the sun?

we watch the sun
rise
and fall
like the rhythms against your chest
because i go high
and then low
i get upset
and my mind goes
reckless and confusing
beauty is sure to last
but my troubles are protruding
and loving
feels a lot like losing

but i will embrace
the sadness
it's tragic but not everlasting
neither is anything
but oh
the light
brings
clarity
to everything

it's
a lot to hold
with two hands
but some people hold more than i think they can
and some arms stretch the lengths of the universe
i know mine do
because i don't mind holding you if you're sad
because it's still you
just from a different view
instead of trading emotions for someone new
ill change my perspective for you
hold every little thing
even when i'm not with you

i hope my words carry weight
that they're something that you'll
remember
that they won't go right through you
i know you aren't translucently existing
but i
can't help but wonder if you see even half of what i see
when you look over at me
and my head overflows
and fills with nothing
overthinking stops
'cause i'm reminded of what i can be
instead of what i'm not

don't carry the doubt
don't wonder
don't think
just know

if you want to know anything
if you want to say anything

do it
because i love to hear you speak
you always say the right things
it seems you do so
without trying

sweet like me, but sweeter
like when i can't manage to be
and i get quiet and confusing
please still see
what i can't manage to see
everything you say i already am
is what i wish to be
i guess
that's luck
or
something