the reason | 13rw

t h i r t y - n i n e

that night i was in my room, my earbuds in playing music loudly as i did some homework. that was until i saw mutliple pairs of headlights outside. i leaned forward, seeing cars pull into the driveway and on the grass. i saw my brother and piper jump out of his car, running inside. everyone followed with cases of beer. a minute later and i heard loud music blaring downstairs. i ripped my earbuds out, pushing myself from my chair. i locked my door and then sat back down. 

i put my earbuds back in and turned up the music even louder than before, drowning out everyone downstairs. my phone vibrated and i reached over, picking it up as i saw a text from jessica. then more came in from the rest of my friends, asking where i was. 

i rolled my eyes and turned it on silent. i wasn't in the mood to party or to see my friends. i pushed my laptop shut and pulled my window open. i climbed out of it, on to the roof. i ran across to a low spot before getting myself down. i took off across my neighbors yard, getting to the sidewalk. i fast walked away from the house. i wasn't sure where i was going, but anywhere was nice. 

i still had my music playing in my earbuds. the song changed to Are You With Me by Nilu. i approached an abandon park down the street and walked across the wood chips. i sat down on a swing and pulled my phone out. 

i clicked on my camera roll, clicking on the album of pictures that monty and i had taken. i scrolled through, letting out a sigh. i locked my phone and swung back and forth for a minute before seeing a figure walking towards me. i pulled my earbuds out as they got closer. i made the facial features out to be scott. 

"what are you doing here?" i asked. 

"well i was just getting out of my car when i saw you climb out your window." he explained and sat down. "i wanted to make sure you're okay." 

"i'm so far from it." i shook my head. "everything is just so fucked up." 

"are you talking about monty?" 

"who else would i be talking about?" i looked at him. 

"i'm not siding with him, i'm on your side all the time, no matter what. but maybe you should listen to him, he's been wanting to talk to you since you found out. maybe what he has to say is good." 

"and if it breaks me anymore?" i asked with a sigh. "maybe bryce was right, maybe i'm just psycho." 

"how does anything monty did proof you're crazy?" 

"i fell for all his shit." i said. "i stood up for him, against you and against everyone. i told everyone monty was a good guy and i believed it. i knew he wasn't a good guy, he's never been a good guy. hell no one is a good guy, not even elliot." 

"what?" 

"all you baseball guys are so toxic." i said. "you guys are fighting and protecting bryce, a guy who just sexually touches anybody he wants. you guys have caused so many problems, specifically for me. everytime something has gone wrong, it leads back to the team." 

"nicolette," he said. i looked at him. 

"i'm sorry scott, but i'm not doing it anymore. i'll continue going to liberty but don't expect to see me in any of your classes anymore." i told him and stood. 

....

when i got back to my house, i climbed back on my roof, hurrying to my window. i climbed through, pushing it shut and turning. i dropped my phone on the desk with my ear buds. i walked into my bathroom, flipping the light on. i looked up at the mirror and saw someone had written on it. 

"every piece of me aches for you." i read softly. at the bottom i saw a baseball and a heart drawn.

"screw you montgomery." i said and walked out. i twisted my bedroom door handle and noticed it was unlocked. 

i ran down the stairs, outback where i knew he'd be with the boys. i pushed the sliding door open and saw them playing beer pong. my brother had his arm around piper as chloe and jess were hanging out on the side with justin and jeff. i watched as monty threw a ball, letting it land in a cup. they all cheered as he high fived bryce. 

"nicolette, you've decided to join us." zach laughed as he put his arm around me. 

"get off of me." i shoved him. i looked at monty, releasing my hand across his cheek. everyone around us "ooh'd." monty looked back at me, shocked. 

"i told you to stay the hell away from me." i told him. "first you bother the shit out of me and then you give me those present and make me break down in tears for the rest of the fucking day. then you break into my locked bedroom to fucking write one of your bullshit love notes on my mirror? everyone calls me the crazy one, but i'm pretty sure its you de la cruz. you caused this and now you need to stop dragging it on." 

"nicolette," scott said, touching my arm. 

i shrugged him off, turning to look at him. 

"i told you to stay away from me." i said and then looked at everyone. "that goes for the rest of you as well." 

i walked inside, pushing people out of my way. i got up to my room, pushing my door shut and locking it. i collapsed on my bed, tears falling down my face as i sobbed. i grabbed a pillow, screaming into it.