when i walked into liberty high that following monday, monty was right next to me. our hands were intertwined. everyone in the hallway fell silent and stared. i started shifting my weight uncomfortably.
"come on," monty said quietly.
i stayed quiet and let him tug me down the hall to my locker. i saw notes and pictures taped to it.
"people were really worried." monty told me.
i pulled off all the notes and walked down the hall, dropping them in the trash.
"nicolette," monty said. "what the hell?"
"i'm not a baby, i don't need some shitty notes from people who don't know me." i responded and pulled off all the pictures of me, dropping them in the trash as well. the only picture left was of monty and i. i pulled it off and opened my locker. i placed on the inside of the door and grabbed out my binder for my first class.
i turned and began walking to my first class.
"nicolette, you're supposed to talk to mister porter." monty said.
i turned, "why? to talk about my feelings? i'm going to class monty."
i turned back around and hurried into my first class.
....
after school that day, monty had a dentention so he gave me his keys to go and sit in his car but i didn't want to spend thirty minutes sitting in his jeep by myself. and since the school was almost completely empty, i decided it was my chance to go back to the hallway, the hallway where i'd been shot.
monty spent all day dragging me down different hallways to avoid it, but i didn't want to avoid it. i walked down the hall, my small heels clicking against the tiles. i came to a stop, seeing the gym straight ahead. i closed my eyes and saw myself answering elliot's call and walking out of the gym. i opened my eyes and turned down the hall. i walked slowly down it.
i saw the locker they'd replaced, it was a lighter blue than the rest around it. it stuck out more than they probably thought. i felt my hands start to shake and my body felt weak. so i sat down in the middle of the hall, staring at the spot where i'd been standing that night. i got flashes of that night, the moments leading up to it. i shut my eyes, letting tears fall.
"nicolette, what the hell are you doing?" i heard.
i looked over my shoulder and saw clay running towards me.
"i was just sitting." i said as he stood right next to me. he sat down.
"nicolette, where's monty?"
"detention, but i had to come and see it clay." i cried. "i just want to know why i'm such a horrible person."
"you're not a horrible person nicky."
"but i am, i've done all this shit and i've never even thought about how people might feel. i got shot clay, because i was a horrible person to tyler."
"tyler is a troubled guy nicolette."
"but he chose me to shoot." i cried and leaned into him.
"it's okay now nicolette, tyler is gone."
....
"i told you not to go over there, your doctor's said the same thing." monty scolded me as we walked out to his car. i stayed quiet. "nicolette, we are trying to help you get better."
"get better?" i snapped as i turned towards him. "i'm not a fucking baby monty! stop treating me like one!"
"nicolette," he said angrily. "you need to listen to your doctors."
"why?" i asked. "i went down that fucking hall and i'm fine monty!"
"when i found you, you were sobbing into clay, i'd hardly call that fine."
"why do you fucking care so much? you didn't before, you didn't care when tyler told you he was going to hurt me. you didn't care when he did hurt me. you didn't care when you hurt me and never fucking explained it. you didn't care when tyler told you he had a gun and was going to use it on me. you don't fucking care monty!" i cried.
"nicolette, i already told you i was trying to keep you safe, we all were."
"and how did that play out?" i asked calmly. i lifted my shirt, showing the wound. "because i don't think it worked."
i watched him shut his eyes, a tear falling down his face. he took a deep breath and looked at me with glossy eyes.
"that's what i thought." i said and dropped my shirt.
i pushed past him, walking back to the school.
"where are you going?" monty asked. i turned and faced him.
"i'm going to ask mister porter for a ride home, his car is still here." i pointed over to his blue honda. "and maybe he won't be angry at me for being my own person."
i watched monty throw his keys down, along with his bag. he walked over in a quick motion and grabbed me, pulling me into a kiss. i sank into it, placing my hands on his chest. we pulled away and he grabbed my face.
"i am not angry with you." he said quietly. "i'm angry with myself. i thought i could protect you and i failed, we all failed you nicolette and trust me, it's going to haunt me for the rest of my life."
i looked between his eyes and pushed my lips against him.
"just shut up and take me home please." i told him.
....
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liked by clayj, hannahbaker and 1,109 others
monty: princess, i love you and will be around until the end of fucking time.
comments
standallalex: you guys are so gross
elliotjames: you fucking better bc i can't handle her anymore
nicolettejames: i love you babe
hannahbaker: CLAY -clayj: yes --hannahbaker: be this cute with me
zdempsey: i love the single life -scottyreed: you aren't alone
