the reason | 13rw

f i f t y - e i g h t

i'd stayed at bryce's for another hour or so until i calmed down and then headed home. when i got there and went inside, scott was pacing back in forth in the foyer. he stopped when he saw me. 

"oh my god," he said with a sigh of relief. 

he hugged me and i hugged him back. 

"what's wrong?" 

he pulled away, "what's wrong is that i woke up and you were gone with your car. i called everyone and no one knew where you were." 

"sorry, i went out for a drive to think." 

"what about?" 

"it's nothing you need to worry about scott," i smiled softly. "let's just go and climb into bed." 

"yeah..." he trailed. 

i walked up the stairs as he followed. i dropped my keys and kicked off my slides. i crawled under the covers on my bed. 

"maybe i should sleep downstairs for the rest of the night." he suggested. 

"you're worried about monty." i said 

"well yeah, you guys are dating and we..." 

"i'm breaking up with him and i'm not going to tell him about you." i said. "the last thing i want is him hating you for it." 

"i still feel dirty." 

"please," i said. 

"fine," he exhaled. 

....

an hour before school started, scott went home to get ready. i stood in my bathroom, staring at the mirror. there were large bags under my eyes and my hair was a mess. my skin was pale which made the small hickey on my chest more noticable. 

i walked into my closet and grabbed a random shirt and a pair of ripped jeans. i changed into them and then brushed my teeth and hair. i applied make up to my face and neck, along with my chest to make myself look more alive and to cover the hickey. 

i slipped on a pair of heels and grabbed my things, heading out to my car. i climbed in and took the short drive to the school. when i arrived i went straight in to my locker and grabbed the things i needed. when i shut it, i saw zach slide in between me and my locker. 

"hey little one," he smiled. 

"hi zach," i said, "can i help you?" 

"i was just coming to see if you're okay." 

"i'm fine." 

"scott called last night and said he didn't know where you went, just wanted to make sure you didn't need anything." 

"i'm okay zach, where's monty?" 

"why?" 

"i have to talk to him." 

"about?" 

"you'll find out later." 

"he was in the gym with some of the baseball boys."

"thank you zach," i smiled and walked away. 

i got to the gym and saw monty laughing with scott, jeff and some other boys. 

"monty," i said. 

they all looked over and i saw scott's smile fade. 

"hey babe," monty jumped up. he walked over, leaning down to kiss me. 

i took a step back, "we need to talk." 

"what?" he asked. 

i looked over at the boys and then back at him. "maybe we could go somewhere else." 

i watched as his smile faded, he stared at me and i saw his jaw clench. 

"are you breaking up with me?" he asked. 

"i'm sorry monty," i said. 

"i waited for you." he said. "i spent the whole summer miserable because i just wanted to see you again. they pulled you from my arms and sent you off. i made my parents start a charity for sexual assault victims." 

i watched as a tear fell down his face. 

"monty...it's just complicated." 

"screw you nicolette, you always want to play victim and act like everyone else always hurts you. it's the other way around, everything you do effects us too you know. you put yourself on a high horse and we've all dealt with it. guess what nicolette, you're a piece of shit human being. you don't give a shit about anyone but yourself. and maybe you deserved to be shoved in a mental hospital." 

he shook his head and grabbed his bag, walking around me. i stood, shocked at everything he'd just said. 

"nicolette..." jeff said. 

"i'm okay," i nodded. "he's just upset." 

"he's not wrong though." some other kid stood, sending me a dirty look. "sure, you're hot but you're a real bitch." 

"i, uh, i'm just going to skip first."  i said. "i'll see you guys later."