"Do you miss this?" I ask reaching for my ring even though I know it's in the boot of Ethan's car.
"Yes and no" Jason shrugs his shoulders watching the field below us
I look at the side of his face the definition in his jaw the way his hair moves in the breeze. I miss him and the carefree way we use to be.
"Are you ever going to forgive me?"
He sighs turning to face me
"I want to go back Mia we have gone over this a million times" turning back to face the Guys training on the field like he can no longer even look at me
When did I become so selfish.
"Chloe" I whisper
"And the pack.. my alpha.. my loyalties have changed Mia" he snaps
"So should of yours" he mumbles
I know.
"What you did Mia was extraordinary it was fucken amazing, you moved just like him..she didn't stand a chance"
I cringe the memories like it only just happened hours ago.
"It's what we are.. you didn't do anything wrong... how many times do I have to tell you do we all have to tell you"
I flinch back from him not from him but his words. I know he's right my mini panic attack cross metal breakdown has only hurt the ones I love.
"But ..I enjoyed it, her blood in my mouth.. the taste the lingering death that I casted down on her" I rub my hand where my ring should be
"I took her life" I whisper
He wraps his arm around me pulling me close to him resting his chin on my head
"It was your first kill and I'm sorry... but it won't be your last"
I shake my head I can't do that again but it's not just that.
"But.. I .. I crave it it's constantly in the back of my mind the thought of doing it again excites me but ... "
"I'm a monster"
He laughs squeezing me tighter "your Not a monster Mia" he rubs my back I don't see hwo it's funny.
The sound of his phone cuts my thoughts as he slides it out of his pocket, showing me the caller before answering it
"Sir" he answers
I turn my eyes back to the field blocking the phone. I can't hear his voice. I just can't do it yet. When it comes to him I'm numb so Fucken confused.
"Good.. she's here now.. hold on" he lowers the phone to me as I stare it
On the other side of that phone in the distance Ethan is there waiting and it kills me. Why I can't bring myself to talk to him to even hear his voice shatters me even more. I look away as I get up and head back down to the training grounds
I hear Jason sigh behind me turning my back again on my mate and I don't know what's wrong with me.
"I'm working on it"
