I release a growl
Stepping towards him. My so called mate. He has done this to me.
I bare my teeth, yet he doesn't move. I stand in front of him meeting eye to eye my jaws slightly parted near his neck.
"I'm sorry"
He's sorry? He's fucken sorry! Did he know I was going to feel like this. I hated killing her but at the same time I loved every second of it, and he's fucken sorry.
"You did this to me!" I shout in his mind
My body shaking
He closes his eyes His pain is so evident but mine is too strong for me to care.
"I hate you I fucken hate you!" Growling lowly
His eyes snap open as if he's shocked. Even I'm shocked at my thoughts.
He reaches up despite my aggression and softly grabs my fur near my ear. The light sparks run down my face. It's calming.
I hate him. I sob my growls turning into whines. He steps closer eyes trained on mine as his other hand reaching up taking my other side.
Is he fucken patting me?
It's soothing i do feel like my heart is slowing down. But he's patting me like a fucken dog like the animal I truly am.
I shake him off me stepping back. Lowering my head as the shame flows over me.
I'm a mess. My emotions running wild.
I slump to the ground instantly regretting it as the muddy blood stained ground soaks around me. Fuck off.
I no longer care.
I close my eyes wishing it all to be a nightmare. Craving to just wake up in my room back home where none of it began.
I hear his foot steps and Jason's voice than James as they talk softly amongst themselves but I don't hear what they say I chose to ignore it.
The stinging smell of blood dirt and damp fur burns my nose but it takes the focus of what's going on in my mind. Before it has me thinking of it more than I would like too.
Her white fur was so clean almost as if she was made of the purest part of snow. Not one other colour imbedding into her fur. Her eyes black, lost, so empty as I remember her pain of losing her mate swirling around her dark aura. Deans. how could she love such a evil man. The things he done to shantal god only knows if there were others.
She was flawless how was she not enough. I open my eyes and look to where her wolf lays, headless. I did that. Now she's dead and her blood is on my hands.
"Mia" I close my eyes to the sound of his voice.
I can't bare him seeing me like this. He crouches down as the ground squishes around his feet.
"It's over you can shift back" his voice is gentle just the way i remember when I was only a kid. The time he told me my grandmother had passed. So caring and sadden.
I look to James finally meeting his eyes.
He's no longer scared or angry. How could he look at me like that knowing what I have done.
"I'm here Mia it's ok please shift so you can talk to me"
But I can't bring myself to shift. I don't want to face what I did. Being in my wolf feels like my last wall i can truly put up.
I turn back away rather facing the dead she wolf that lays across from me. Letting it imprint into me fighting the acceptance of what I have done.
———-
They eventually make there way to her picking her up gently as the strange men carry her away where I've been watching them take the rest. There followed by a few others as her head gets carried behind them.
I look to Liam as he's been next to me for hours just watching quietly with me not saying a word.
I suddenly shift in my spot forming my human self as Liam jumps up throwing a sheet he had been holding and wrapping it around me as I sit there in the cold red mud.
I still feel numb my body shivering due to the damp coldness and blood stained skin. I need it off me. I need it off me now.
"Where's the water?" I whisper eyes to the ground
"James is coming hold on" he says hooking the sheet together so easily like I have seen Ethan do that one time.
"Where the hell is it" I growl out
I need the blood off me I need it off
"I need it off now!" I shout at him
I'm picked up warm arms surrounding me as I push my face into his shoulder breathing in my brothers scent. He carries me quickly holding me so carefully. It was a long walk fast paced but it felt like seconds as he places me down into knee deep water the sound of a rushing water near by.
I sink into the water almost diving straight in as I lower my self completely submerging myself in. My skin is on fire as the cool water takes the edge off.
Not wanting to re surface as I float underneath peering at the surface the sun sparkling through.
My air begins to tighten as I release a breath watching the bubbles rise to the surface my heart rate slowing. It feels amazing
So beautiful.
I wave my hands in front of me refusing to float up the water a slight pink in colour. The tightness in my chest increasing.
I feel weightless, free, so light.
Till a shadow appears over me and ripping me from it breaking the surface as my throat burns for air.
"Your going to fucken drown her"
Ethan wraps his arms around me holding me tight to his body as I struggle for breath. Panting as I press my cheek to his chest.
"She wasn't going to drown" James voice snaps out
They don't stop as I hear Jason around us too
"Stop" I croak out
Sending us into silence, the only sounds is my heavy breathing
"No more fighting, just no more" I strain as I tighten my arms around Ethan's waist like he's my fucken lifeline.
"James, everyone's ready"
I peek out over Ethan's large shoulder as I see Nolan, another familiar face I'm happy to see. standing just at the shore line.
"Where are you going?" I ask turning to my brother looking at him for what feels like the first time in ages.
His brows furrowed looking extremely agitated.
His eyes soften once turning back to me "its time to go Mia"
"No" I shake my head as I feel panic kicking in again
Ethan's arms tighten around me as he cradles my body
"I want to come with you" I say slightly pushing against Ethan's chest
His body stiffens and I hear his heart rate increase
James looks to Ethan than to Jason as if asking them for permission. He's my brother he doesn't need to ask for permission.
Ethan's arms slowly release from me as I push away from him not even looking to his face as I know my heart will break. I just need space from him I don't want it but I need it.
"Jason goes too" his voice non caring no emotion what so ever present
James nods his head as he steps towards me and takes my hand.
We leave the water as I unwillingly look back to it. Pausing as I see Ethan standing there still waist deep in the water his back to me. I look to Liam who's watching me from next to him, he looks as though he hates me.
Ignoring it, I turn back around as the guys continue to walk.
Not a word from Ethan and I can't bring myself to say anything either.
