We drop Jason off watching him, he pretty much runs from the car. Chloe waiting arms out stretched as he picks her up spinning. Well aren't they a bit cute.
They disappear from sight as we head home. The silence in the car falls heavy. But I honestly didn't expect anything different.
"I didn't know you were coming home" Ethan hesitates before opening the door. the only words spoken to me since he picked us up. Not sure if my tears shocked him or it just shocked me.
"I'm sorry, we should have told you" I try not to be as awkward as fuck
I follow him as he stops short of the kitchen.
He's still being distant and I don't blame him he has every right to be angry with me. Doesn't mean I have to like it.
"How have you been?" I cringe, fuck I'm an idiot
He turns back to me clearly confused and so am I. My awkwardness at full power.
"I've been great" those 3 words laced with so much sarcasm
I deserved that
"I'm sorry.. I .."
"Are you really though" he questions, cutting me off as I now see every guard he's ever held up are all standing strong and tall together.
Shit.
He sighs turning back away from me. I follow him and take a seat at the counter as I rub the bench. The last time I was here was nice, fun. I saw another side of him what I wouldn't give to go back in time.
I look up to him picking up burnt pots and pans and binning them. as I notice the mess across from me and the sink filled to the brim with almost everything I've seen this kitchen hold. He cooked.. he was actually trying to cook my heart just melts.
"You cooked?" I ask a smile creeping onto my face, he's adorable
"I wouldn't call it that" he bins all the evidence before placing the whole bin into a cupboard and closing the door. I'm not sure if he's embarrassed or annoyed but the effort he's gone to is amazing. I never thought he would.
"I'm really sorry"
"I heard you the first time Mia" his voice low and unemotional
He's so so very mad I guess me trying to play it cool is just making it worse. I'm so lost and heartbroken but than not, I guess because seeing him here... being with him I feel so complete yet lost.
"What do you want me to say, tell me what you want me to say and I'll say it" the air thickens and I brace myself as I fear the worst is yet to come
He leans back on the counter releasing a breath
"just tell me why you left it's that simple?" His eyes focusing on the floor.
"It wasn't you" I rush out without thinking, again another stupid move from my part
He shakes his head eyes snapping to mine
"It wasn't you it was me .. really that's the best you have?" frustration now covering his anger
"..It was me" mainly, how could it not be? I single Handley sabotaged my own relationship and for what my little melt down over exactly what I am.
"Your fucken lying" his anger now dominating
He is right he was part of it a big part of it that I've been trying to forget but what I did was wrong having the time to work through it .. I just didn't understand the way I felt.
