You both stopped speaking and her eyes flickered up to yours. The blue and silver swirl around, burning up in the blackness of her pupil. Wide with emotion, all the shades of ever-deepening colour, twisting and turning as she gave you that look worth a thousand words.
"How do you do that?" She whispered, tilting her head slightly to one side.
"Do what?" you murmured.
"How do your eyes always say so much more than your mouth?" You looked away at that and it was a long moment before you looked back.
"Funny, because I was just thinking the same, about yours. I guess they're just honest. What can be a blessing and a curse at the same time" You smiled.
And you were sure, that she got confused by your answer. You thought she looked even more beautiful with her brows raised, trying to figure you out. It made you smile. If fear didn't exist, you'd run up your hands over her body and kiss her. Not in a sexual way, with the need to touch somebody, this was not the case. You wanted to hold her close, look deep into her eyes and softly whisper her name. You wanted to kiss her, slowly, taking your time. You wanted to touch her without even touching her.
"A curse? Why is that?" She looked at you with raised eyebrows.
"People can read them easily. I have a hard time hiding my emotions." You smiled and brushed through your hair.
"Why would you want to hide them?" Her question caught you off guard.
"Well... If I should be completely honest, I just don't like to talk about them, nor others to know about them. I feel safer that way."
"I think when you keep any emotion hidden inside for too long it begins to slowly hurt you."
"That's why I have art." You smiled.
She looked down to your drawings and written word and then looked back with a smile.
"Why would you let me see your emotions then? I mean, you said that you use art to express them."
"I don't know." You smiled. "But there are still certain things I will keep to myself."
"Of course, it wouldn't be you without just a hint of mystery." She laughed while going through some pages of your notebook. She made you feel calm. She made you feel things you haven't felt in a while. It was scary but amazing at the same time. You loved her smile, presence and laugh. Words couldn't even explain what you felt when you were around her.
"I really like this one." She pointed to a text you wrote, it said:
"Your eyes reminded me of the endless ocean. Overwhelming, deep, and swimming with life. They became my favourite colour and I would gladly paint every single wall in my house to match them. So vast and yet so happily open. Even though you were unbearably nice, I still stayed with you and let myself plunge into the rich, glassy waters in those eyes. Your soul is the riptide. I was pulled under. I could not breathe. I drowned."
"How lucky will be the person who will be with you." She smiled at you.
Oh, only if she knew that you wrote that one about her. You wanted to say something, but then you stopped. "Yeah... maybe." You took a deep breath and swallowed the lump in your throat.
"Anyways I think that you are very talented, there is something in you. You just have it." She leaned closer and whispered. "It's a blessing."
Her breath made you shiver. Hearing her voice was far better than her touching you. Because even though you yearned for her skin to touch yours, it was her voice that touched your soul. You beamed at the woman's words, they coughed you off guard. You wondered if you were hallucinating.
You could feel her eyes on you. Like they were trying to figure out what was going tough your head.
"What is it, (Y/N)?" Her voice woke you up from your daydreaming.
"I... it's so hard to try and explain the heaviness sitting on my chest and the knotting in my stomach that never seems to go away and I'm at loss for words. My mind has a million different things that want to be explained but I can't put them into the words people need to hear so I usually sit by myself choking and wallowing in my self-pity wondering why I'm not like the rest, who can smile at the sun and feel alive or breathe in without the feeling of someone standing on their lungs. It's weird and I don't want to bother you-"
The older woman stopped you with placing her hand on yours.
"You never bother me, if you feel like you need to talk to somebody, I'm here." She smiled, but it was different kind of smile you couldn't quite figure out. "I myself used to feel like that sometimes, lost in my own thought. I thought that I was odd." She said slightly tilting her head and placing her other hand on your chin, to make eye contact, her face inches away from yours. "You are special." And while looking in her eyes, you lost the ability to think properly.
