Still Holding On (A Daniel Howell x reader)

Chapter 1

Your POV

Out the window, I was staring mindlessly at the London streets ahead of me. Oh how I wished something exciting, something new would happen. But it's always the same old. The same routine. Get up, use the bathroom, brush my teeth and hair, pick my outfit, and eat breakfast. So exciting, right. No. I just decided to do something different. I decide to go outside and go to the park that's down the road. The one where Phil and I had hung out at when we were kids.

I get some shoes on and open the door, instantly regretting what I have done. 'Its too late to turn back though,' I thought. As I was walking, I was thinking of all the memories I had with Phil when I were younger. One of them was at the park I am heading to right now. We both were about 15 and that's when he had fell, but on me. It was more funny than embarrassing, to be honest. I smile as I think about it.

Flashback

"Hey Y/n, watch this!" Phil yells from the top of the slide.

"Why?" You whine.

"I want to show you something! Please watch?" Phil asks, his eyes pleading that you say yes.

"Fine." You say, smiling at him.

"Yay!" He excitedly yells.

Phil sits down at the top of the slide and asks if you can move out of the way. You, just trying to annoy him, shake your head no. He just shrugs his shoulders and starts to slide down. You decide to tease him and wait till he is about to hit you, then you move. He looks at you and screams at you to move. Of course you don't and he tries to stop himself. You move but a little too late. When Phil got to the end of the slide, he had grabbed onto your shirt. With that, you both fell onto the ground.

"You should've moved." He said guiltily.

"You could've stopped." You say, giggling at him.

"I couldn't!" He defends.

"Yeah okay." You say, reaching a hand out so he can grab it.

He accepts it and you both get up and walk to the bench. You both sit down and continue talking.

"I told you to move, you bum!" He says, as you laugh at the name he called you. 'Bum'

"Wow. Bum is all you got. You know, you're not good at name calling." You recall.

"Says you. I'm not the one who called someone a 'brat' right after they called me a...what was the word? Bitch, I think?" He retorts.

You sit there laughing, remembering when that happened. After a while of you guys talking, you both head home. Phil walks you home and when you guys reach the house, he trips on his own feet, falling to the ground. 

"Ow. Fuck." Phil says, getting up.

You gasp.

"Oh my gosh. Did Phillip Michael Lester just say the word fuck? We need some holy water this instant." You say, dramatically.

"Oh shut up." He says laughing.

We both say our goodbyes and he heads home. After a few hours, you decide to go to bed. You text Phil telling him goodnight...after you recall what he said earlier.

Y- Do you still need some of that holy water?

P- Shut up Y/n

Y- Okay, okay. Fine. I was just texting to say goodnight.

P- Why don't I believe you? By the way, you're still a bum and that's what I'm calling you.

Y- I don't know and okay? Well, I'm getting tired. Goodnight, Phil.

P- Goodnight Y/n.

Flashback end

As I was thinking, I wasn't looking where I was going. I mistakenly bump into someone, knocking me to the ground. The person just groans and walks away.

"Bitch." I mumble.

I continue walking towards the park. When I finally got there, something caught my attention. The slide.

I walk over to the slide and sit at the bottom. Its hard for me to think about Phil. I haven't seen nor talked to him in about 5 years. Just sitting on this slide makes me sad, but happy all at once. The last time I saw him was when he told me he was going to college in Manchester and he needed to move closer to it. That day I told him my goodbyes. That was the last time I had seen him. Today's the fifth anniversary of not seeing Phil and that's why I needed to get out.

"Um, excuse me miss? Can you please move?" A child at the top of the slide asks me. I nod and get up.

I walk toward the bench and sit down. I continue to think of past memories, containing Phil and ones that don't. Clenching my fist, I wish that Phil was here with me. Being the friend he was back then. I calm as I hear all the children playing and laughing. Phil and I used to be like that. That's long lost now though. Trying to stay a little happy, I continue to think about Phil and what he could be doing right now.

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Phil's POV

"Phil! Can you not eat my cere-" Dan starts to yell, but then his expression just turns. He looks concerned. "Are you okay?" He asks.

"Yeah, why?"

"You just don't look okay."

"I don't know. Maybe is just because of loss of sleep. You know how I get when I don't sleep as much." I laugh to myself.

'That's not why and you know it. Its the fifth anniversary of not seeing Y/n. Today is the day that she said goodbye and you never saw her again.'

"I know." I mumble to myself, but Dan heard me.

"What?" He asks, thinking I was talking to him.

"Oh nothing." I say and grab my box of cereal.

I just start eating the cereal out of the box as I watch TV with Dan.

"Hey Dan?" I ask. He looks over at me.

"Yeah?" He responds.

"Do you remember that friend I would talk to you about?" He nods, knowing that I'm talking about Y/n.

"Today is the fifth anniversary of the day we said goodbye to each other, knowing that we might never see each other again. I just miss her, you know? She was like a little sister to me and when I left her, I felt horrible." He puts a hand on my back.

"I get it. Maybe we'll just bump into her tomorrow." He says.

"Like we have that kind of luck." I say, laughing a little.

'If only you knew how much that would mean to me.'