Still Holding On (A Daniel Howell x reader)

Chapter 29

Dan's POV

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Was that the Derek Phil and Y/n were talking about? If that was him, why is he here? Does he plan on hurting Y/n? I push those thoughts aside and look at Y/n. I can see that she's starting to get dizzy and I help steady her. She leans onto me and I can feel her breathing slowing down. Her soft snores fill the room.

I hear someone coming and assuming its a customer, I breathe calmly. No one saw what happened because we were in the back. Of course Derek chose the back. To my surprise, the person coming wasn't just any customer, it was Phil. He looked at Y/n on my chest and gave me a confused look.

"Phil, we need to leave."

"Why?"

"Derek found Y/n."

Phil's face changed to a serious one and nodded before checking out as fast as he could. I pick up Y/n bridal style and hold her close, hoping Derek doesn't come back and try and take her away from me again.

Why did I say it like that? It's not like she's mine. She isn't an object for someone to possess. But, I just don't want her to be hurt. I hate seeing her hurt, whether its from me or from someone else.

The girl that I've grown to know doesn't deserve to be hurt. She's been through far too much in her life. She doesn't tell me the things that happened to her, but I know a little of her past. I wonder if she fears I'll see her in a different way if she were to tell me what happened, when really, I see her as something more.

I see her as Y/n. The girl who is strong enough to deal with the hate the world brings. The girl who has dealt with self-deprivation and survived. She isn't like anyone I've ever met and she won't ever be.

Phil has told me her past or what he knows of it. Knowing what Derek did and what she did to herself hurts me. I've come to realize that the people who don't seem to be hurt, are the ones who are hurting the most.

I mena I have some say. Im hueting pretty bad internally but you know, its okay. I'd rather worry about Y/n than myself. She's more important and I care about her. To be honest, I dont know if I have feelings for her or anything. I mean, we've kissed anf Ive thought about doing it again, but that doesn't mean I like her, right?

That's a dumb question. Of course it does.

Well, if I do like Y/n, she would never like me back. Ever. I mean who would like me. A guy who sits on his ass all day and makes videos for a living. Surely not her. Even if she did like me, she deserves better.

I can't help but look at her. When she sleeps, she always has a slight smile on her face. Her h/l h/c strands cover her face. Her face is now a flushed red from crying. I swear Im going to fucking kill Derek.

Phil and I walk to our flat and set her on the couch. While I was carrying her down the street, I got a few looks, but I could care less. They dont know what happened so they have no room to judge. People are assholes and Im surprised no one has said anything about me and Y/n.

My fans have stayed in their business lately and that's all I care about. I don't want Y/n getting hate or stalked or anything. It just adds more stress to her and thats not what she needs.

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Y/n's Point of View

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I open my eyes and see a familiar surrounding. Dan and Phil's flat. I sit up and throw my legs over the couch. How did I get here?

"Dan?" I call out, hoping that he is here.

When he doesn't respond, I yell a little louder but not too much. I hear footsteps approaching me, soon seeing Dan out of breath.

"Y/n, you okay? You yelled," he said, a little out of breath.

"Yeah I'm fine I guess. That wasn't a dream right?"

"Sadly no," he said with a frown, knowing what I was talking about.

I pat the spot next to me and he sits down.

"Thanks Dan," I say, leaning my head on his shoulder with a smile.

"For?"

"Two things. One, helping me with Derek and two being you."

"You shouldnt be thanking me Y/n. I didnt do anything. If anything I made the conflicts worse. And why are you thanking me about being myself?"

"Cause Dan, not many people are like you and thats how it'll be. But, dont change yourself for someone else. Whether its me, Phil, your parents, your friends, anyone because what's the point in being someone else when there's you? And truly, you are the best person I have probably met, other than Phil."

"But what about-"

"Dont mention the times when we fought or anything. One that's the past. And two, its okay that we fought. Friends fight."

"Yeah..," he says and then whispers thinking I cant hear him, "But what if I don't want that?"

"What do you mean?"

"Shit, you heard that?" He says, scratching the back of his neck.

"Yeah. What did you mean?"

"Uh, nothing. I was just thinking aloud."

"And what were you thinking about?" I ask, trying to get information because I'm confused.

"You really want to know?" I nod. "Fine. What if I dont want to be just friends? What if I want us to be something more? What if I've fallen in love with the girl sitting right in front of me? How do you think she'll take it. I mean, in the past, i made her commit suicide in her dream and then both of us had a consistant brickering session and she punched me in the face...twice. And Im sure she doesnt have feelings back so I sound like a desperate teenager around his crush."

I sit there speechless. What?

As it is always said, curiosity killed the cat.