Still Holding On (A Daniel Howell x reader)

Chapter 30

Dan loves me back? How? I mean, we have kissed 3 times but they were innocent-ish. But he LOVES me out of all people? Why? All I do is cause stress and pain. Like with Derek. I could tell that Dan was scared when he saw Derek with me but he hides it very well.

"Well, from my own experience, the girl may or may not be in the same situation too..." I say, hinting that I love him too and want to be more than friends. But you know, we don't get what we want sometimes.

"Are you saying what I think you're saying?"

"Yeah. I think."

"Oh."

Then he gets up and walks out the door, leaving me alone.

_________________________________________

Phil's Point of View

_________________________________________

I walk out of the bathroom to see Y/n sitting on the couch alone. I wonder whats wrong. Her normal cheerful smile is completely gone and she looks like a deer in headlights.

"Hey Y/n," I say, making her jump and look at me.

"Oh...hi Phil."

There is definitely something wrong with her.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing," she replies as if on instinct.

"There's something wrong. You know you can talk to me, right?"

"Yeah...its not important. I'm okay. If anything, Dan needs talked to."

"That doesn't mean your problems are any more or less important. If you are bothered, then it is important. Maybe not to some people but to you it is and thats all that matters. So, whats going on in that head of yours?"

"Well, Dan just told me he loved me."

"Isn't that a good thing? I mean, you love him back so..."

She looks at the floor and starts talking again.

"When I told him that I loved him too, he kind of just...left. I don't know. There was no reaction. Nothing. He just got up and left. Wouldn't he be happy if his feelings were mutual?"

I think about it. He probably thinks that he's not good enough for her. He's most likely overthinking and needed to leave to clear his mind.

_________________________________________

Y/n's Point of View

_________________________________________

"He is happy Y/n. He's most likely taking everything in and sadly, overthinking it. He has a tendency to do that if you haven't noticed."

"Maybe but what if he doesn't want to get with me and he's just confused?"

"Trust me, he's not confused. He's loved you since the first day you guys met."

"What? How do you know that?"

"I knew by the way he looked at you."

"Oh...when you said he's overthinks, has he ever thought that we're together?"

"Yeah. He asked me once while you two were fighting."

"You haven't told him yet, have you?"

I don't think Phil has. If he did, Dan wouldn't have assumed me and Phil were dating.

"No."

"Phillll," I say, laughing. "Why not?"

"I don't know.

"You need to tell himmmmmm. He deserves to know too. I dont want to be the only one on this earth other than you who knows eitherrr. But, I mean, I cant force you to do anything. If it makes you uncomfortable telling people, then don't."

"I may tell him sooner or later. But promise you'll be there with me."

"I promise. Hey Phil, am I staying here or going to my flat?" I ask, laughing.

"Yes."

"What's the yes to? My flat or yours?"

"Oh sorry." He laughs, "you can stay here if you want. I prefer if you do. I think Dan would too."

"Was that supposed to be a joke?"

"What? How would that be a joke?"

"Oh my god Phil. Stop being so innocent," I say, laughing. "Dan and I just told each other that our feelings were mutual, thats weird to say aloud, and you said that he would prefer if I stay here. Was that a perverted joke or what?"

"Oh, no! I didn't mean it like that. Y/n, go wash your brain out with soap. Get those perverted thoughts out of your head."

"I better wash my mouth out with soap."

"Oh my god, Y/n. No, we are not making Melanie Martinez references, no matter how much I want to. What I meant about prefering you to stay here was because of Derek and everything. I would prefer if you stay here too."

"Yeah. I guess. Let's see if he's okay with me staying here when he gets home...whenever that is."

As I think that, Dan opens the door and breathes in. It looks like he's out of breath. His curls are covering his face slightly and he's just staring at Phil and I. I'm confused.

I walk over to him and put my hand on his arm. "Dan, you alright?"

"Erm, yeah. Yeah I'm fine."

"You sure? You look worried about something."

"I'm not. Its okay."

"Okay, but if you need to talk, Phil and are here."

"Actually Y/n, we do need to talk."