Unconditionally, Inevitably, Forever Yours.

The Outer Shell.

Minor Warning: This chapter has small references to situations people may find upsetting and disturbing, e.g Self Harm and Anorexia.

To the people who are reading my story- I don't want to make anyone feel uncomfortable, so if I find that the context in a certain chapter requires a slightly more mature audience, I'll be sure to notify it with a Major Warning.

But this chapter is only a Minor- if that. I just don't want to trigger anybody in any way.

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The entire crucible of becoming an attendant at a new school is a truly terrifying experience. It was like starting high school all over again.

Your mind involuntarily thinks of the worst-case-scenarios of starting a new school.

1) You'll be bullied. I was never bullied at my previous school- other than usual idiotic sadistic kid who thinks that saying ridiculous things to other people is cool. Which of course it really isn't, especially when they say it to the most fragile and sensitive people- which wasn't usually me, yet I still got defensive for other people.

2) You won't fit in. Finding my social group wasn't necessarily hard for me in my last school. I wasn't exactly the hardest person to make friends with, I was smart, kind and outgoing. But that was 6 months ago- and a lot has changed, quite obviously.

I'm no longer the smart, kind and outgoing girl, who lived with a loving family, who's parents would never commit suicide.

I'm the cynical, underweight, unattractive and-due to the lack of education for the recent months- dumb girl, with no soul left on this planet who gives a damn about her.

Well, maybe I still have hope in one person.

But that's besides the point. The point is; I'm no longer the girl that my parents brought up and cherished.

The worst part of it all is that I want to become that girl again, nearly as much as I want my parents to come home from their Date Night. But I can't- because I don't know how. My conscience won't let me, as if telling me that my life isn't going to get any better- if not worse. I wouldn't be surprised if it did.

Sometimes whilst hitting me, Dale would shout profanities saying that I deserve everything that's happened to me: all the beatings, the death of my parents, that all of it was my fault.

I don't see how that could be but it still doesn't lessen the effect it has on my self-conscience.

No one can prepare themselves for the death of a family member, and it isn't something you can easily move on from. But, I always thought of myself as a strong-willed, resilient person. I'm no superman, yet my parent's death was my kryptonite; which deprived me of being a legitimate person and leaving me with this empty shell of somebody who use to be a somebody.

And is now a lump of flesh and bones, with no hope.

I feel like I'm in a Labyrinth, and underground system of tunnels and passageways, but I'm not alone. Instead of containing monsters and mythical mad guys; it has the hurdles that I've yet to overcome.

My Uncle, My Parents Death, The Anxiety, all of these things limit the things I can do in my daily life.

That's why the idea of school haunts me. Academically, socially, I'll be a failure. And failure is not an option. It's a part of being stubborn I guess, and it can be an advantage and a disadvantage.

I'm in desperate search of a light in a place so dark; that I'm blind. My hands finger the stone-cold walls of the Labyrinth.

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