QueerClan

Episode Twenty-five

Straightfur pads back into camp, carrying two mice in his mouth. He is closely followed by Arosparrow and Nondawn, who are also carrying prey. They set their catches down on the fresh-kill pile and continue walking. Arosparrow and Nondawn fall back as Straightfur begins to talk to Aceface and Gayday.

Arosparrow: Ever since that thing with the dream lily, Straightfur has seemed happier. He's closer with Aceface now. I think that's pretty great.

Nondawn: Yes, but haven't you noticed that there have been some more . . . negative changes recently? Not from the dream lily. From when he fell in that stream two suns ago, and we couldn't get him out for a while?

Arosparrow: I don't know what you're talking about.

Nondawn points at Straightfur with her tail. His eyes are watery, as well as his nose. When Gayday flirts with him, he flirts back. Arosparrow draws back in horror.

Arosparrow: Great StarClan! Straightfur has the gayfluenza!

All of the cats in camp whip around to look at him. Then, they look at Straightfur. Panic ensues.

Queerdeer: Demikit, Akoikit, Graykit, get inside the nursery, now! Stay with Bi-sky. I'll protect the entrance! None of you will be getting the gayfluenza if I can help it!

Pansand: No! I'm not getting it! Fluidstream is female today!

Pansand flees from camp. Fluidstream chases after him. Queerdeer stands guard in front of the nursery, refusing to let anyone come close to his family. Rainbowstar pads over to the group of cats near Straightfur, followed by Polyholly and Lesbianfin.

Rainbowstar: Is this true? Does Straightfur have the gayfluenza?

Nondawn: What in the name of StarClan is the gayfluenza?

The cats turn to look at Nondawn in shock.

Lesbianfin: The gayfluenza is the worst sickness to ever fall upon QueerClan. It can completely change a cat's sexuality as long as they have it. So, if a cat like Queerdeer got it . . .

Nondawn's eyes widen in horror and sadness.

Nondawn: Then Queerdeer wouldn't be able to love Bi-sky anymore?

Lesbianfin nods solemnly. Polyholly looks around the group.

Polyholly: Gayday, Lesbianfin, Rainbowstar, and I are all immune since we're already gay. But Arosparrow, Nondawn, and Aceface aren't. You three should flee as well.

The three cats look at each other, all sharing the same thought. At the same time, they shake their heads.

Aceface: No. I'm staying to heal him. I know that I've been wanting him to come out, but . . . not like this. Never like this.

Arosparrow: He's my best friend. I'm staying. No matter what.

Nondawn: I'm staying too. You won't change my mind.

Straightfur is laying down on the ground by now. Gayday forced him to, having improvised a nest outside the medicine cat den so the herbs wouldn't be contaminated. Straightfur looks up at Gayday, and grins, eyes half-shut as though he isn't fully there.

Straightfur: Hey, Gayday . . . why am I in this nest?

Gayday: You're sick, Straightfur. But don't worry, Aceface is going to fix it. Everything will be fine.

Straightfur: But I don't think I'm sick. I'm gay. Isn't this what everyone has always wanted? For me to be queer? Why are you guys fighting it now?

Aceface and Gayday look at each other, suddenly overwhelmed by guilt. Gayday shakes his head. They are both horrified at how unrecognizable the sickly, gay Straightfur is.

Aceface: This isn't you. And I'm sorry if we ever made you think it should be.

Aceface heads toward the camp entrance, in order to go find the herbs needed for Straightfur's illness. Gayday follows her. Arosparrow and Nondawn sit down in front of Straightfur. Rainbowstar goes to check on the rest of the clan and calm the panic.

Arosparrow: It's okay, Straightfur. We're here with you. Aceface and Gayday will be back with the cure soon.

Straightfur: But I'm fine! I'm gay now. And I'm noticing a bunch of new things now! Like how I have deeper feelings for you than I used to think I did.

Arosparrow shakes his head. He places a paw comfortingly on Straightfur's shoulder.

Arosparrow: No, Straightfur, you don't. I'm sorry. It's just the sickness talking. You know that, right? Remember Hiss? When we were apprentices? You had feelings for her, Straightfur. Because you're straight.

Straightfur: No, I'm not. I'm gay. Besides, she left me anyway. I'm never going to be happy if I'm straight. I'll never find a mate because everyone here is queer. Besides me.

Nondawn: But Straightfur, you're not the you we all know if you're gay. Sexuality is a major part of your identity. If you stay like this, you won't be you anymore.

Polyholly: I think Aceface and Gayday are back. We should all move aside.

The cats clear a way for Aceface. She gives Straightfur some leaves and forces him to eat them. The cats wait for hours. Finally, as the sun is setting, Straightfur returns to normal.

Straightfur: StarClan . . . that was terrible. Please, never again. Thanks for turning me down, Arosparrow.

Arosparrow: Of course, Straightfur. But you should be thanking Aceface for healing you.

Straightfur: Thank you, Aceface. I mean it. I know you and Gayday have wanted me to come out, so it must have been hard for you to do that.

Aceface: After seeing what you were like . . . it wasn't hard at all. And Gayday and I have agreed that we like you better the way you are.

Gayday: Yeah, we're sorry. And we're not going to keep trying to force you to come out. But this doesn't mean I'm going to stop dumping glitter on you. THE GLITTER SHALL NEVER STOP!

The cats all laugh at Gayday's outburst, as he throws a pawful of glitter into Straightfur's face. Gayday grins. Straightfur wipes the glitter off, hiding a smile.

Straightfur: The day you abandon your glitter is the day the world ends, Gayday.

Written by Mack
Edited by Lamb