This would be a solo job since Josh had a break coming to him after covering for me while I was away with Jared and Shannon. I arrived in Seattle just after midday, still feeling that heart clenching ache deep down inside my chest. I checked into my hotel and sat on the bed, typing out a simple message to Jared, letting him know that I arrived safely. He spent the night with me last night, again, and I knew that he was deeply concerned about me.
Suddenly I felt overcome with guilt about some of the things I had said to him over the course of the last few days. It was because of that guilt that I felt the need to add the little heart emoji at the end of my text. He was the one always doing things like that for me and didn't deserve my unfair treatment. I'm a grown ass woman and knew damn well what I was getting myself into when agreeing to this whole fucked up, twisted relationship in the first place. I also knew that an apology to Jared would be necessary at some point, but not just yet. I was still reeling from Shannon's selfish desires and Jared's confession about how they planned this whole thing.
I went out for a bite to eat, even though I still had zero appetite. All I really wanted to do was go back to my room and crawl into bed, numbing myself with sleep. God knows that the last thing I wanted was to look like I felt. It was safe to say that showing up to meet my client while wearing sunglasses would probably be frowned upon.
I stumbled onto this cute little mom and pop diner and ordered myself a vegetable omelette. The casual atmosphere at places like this always comforted me when I was away from home for some peculiar reason. My phone rang while I was waiting for my food and I was floored to see Sara's name lit up on the screen. With a shaky voice, I answered and was immediately met with an apology. After a few minutes of catching up, my food was delivered to the table. Sara and I both began bawling after admitting how much we missed each other and I could only guess what the other patrons of the restaurant thought as they watched me sobbing uncontrollably into my phone, while stuffing my face with food.
She and I fought, like many friends sometimes do, but would forever be drawn back to one another. We had been close far too long to let a stupid fight, tear our friendship apart. I confided in her about what happened with Shannon and in true best friend fashion, she didn't rub my face in the fact that she was right. No, instead, she offered me a shoulder to cry on.
I did exactly that, cried. Without finishing my plate of food, I paid and left the restaurant. While riding in a cab all the way back to my hotel, she tried to cheer me up, telling me how I didn't deserve to be treated badly. We ended up talking for over two hours before I finally hung up and fell asleep, curled up into a ball in the center of my bed. When I woke up the following morning, I reached for my phone to check the time. It was almost five, but that wasn't what made me gasp. I saw Shannon's name, realizing he sent a text during my slumber. Without opening it, I slammed the phone face down on the bed and walked toward the bathroom.
Stripping my clothes away, I felt it coming on, another emotional breakdown. I stood under the water, feeling it cascading down my back and taking with it the last of my composure. I huddled in the corner of the shower, crying my eyes out for the next twenty minutes.
When I finally emerged from the bathroom, I picked up the phone, reading his message.
-Carrie I just wanted to apologize for the way things went down. I should have been honest with you about everything from the beginning. I realize Jared made himself look innocent, by throwing all of the guilt my way, but that's not exactly the way it is. I recognize that no amount of apologizing will ease the pain for you and I hate myself for that. I also know you're in Seattle, and would actually like to talk to you when you're not busy. Please message me back when you get this. S-
'Weak ass apology,' I mumbled, tossing the phone back down onto the messy bed. I got myself ready to go and meet Lynda, my client.
On the way there, I stopped for coffee, hating the fact that the familiar aroma would forever stir up painful memories for me. I sipped on my daily injection of caffeine while sitting in the back of the taxi. When we stopped at a red light, I glanced into the nearly empty parking lot on the right and saw a cute family of three. A man, woman and presumably their child walked away from a popular shoe store. The little girl couldn't have been more than two or three and her long dark hair was up in pigtails. She held onto their hands as they swung her in the air and she giggled wildly. She was adorable with her denim overalls and purple shirt. They neared the red minivan and the cab began to roll once again. I sat up and looked backward for one more quick peep. It just hit me out of nowhere. This was just a normal part of life. I could have this too, but not with two men, nobody could. A three way relationship may work for a while, but eventually somebody will get hurt. Reality had to set in at some point.
I met with my client and spent a few hours pulling together supplies and preparing for the actual job the next day. I hit a few shops that I had visited one time before and stopped to pick up some snacks before arriving back at the hotel. I loved shopping, but hated lugging it all back up to my hotel room.
Sitting at the table, I glanced out the window as I took a bite of my salad. It was going to rain and I pulled out my phone to read Jared's messages from throughout the day. Glancing at the screen, I smiled at his incessant effort to stay sweet and considerate during my emotional breakdown. It was so quiet and lonely being away and knowing that someone missed me, made me feel special.
The knock on the door, threw me off. My room was cleaned while I was gone, so I knew it wasn't housekeeping. I pulled the door open and instantly tried to close it when I saw who was on the other side. Unfortunately, he was fast, jamming it with his foot. "Quit being so stubborn and let me in."
"Why are you here?" I inquired, trying not to raise my voice. I fought to keep from blinking, not wanting to grant Shannon the privilege of saying he made me cry. Sadly, it only worked for a few minutes and I turned away, recognizing that he wasn't just going to leave.
I walked toward the bed and rolled my eyes at the fact that he was now in my room. "I'm here to see you. I want to apologize, the proper way. I know Jared painted me the villain."
I snickered, "Oh, that's right, there are two sides to every story, but you know Shannon, you're a lying bastard in both of them. You let me believe she was Jared that night, so from my standpoint, you are the villain. Did you actually fly here to apologize to me?" I saw him swallow hard, nodding, but still avoiding my eyes.
Thinking back to that night and how close we were to arriving at the point of no return, I came to the breaking point of my patience. I was blinded by rage and the bitter taste of betrayal left me trembling. "Fine! I accept your apology, now get the hell out!"
