I walked into my empty apartment on Friday afternoon, carrying a salad in one hand and a bottle of my favorite red wine in the other. The silence was deafening as I kicked off my heels and sat down at the table. A tear slid down my cheek when I thought about my pathetic, speedy goodbye to Jared this morning. Like always, he promised to call or text. I didn't even have time to deal with my emotions since I had to meet a client at nine. Josh could have taken the first meeting of the day, but he was such a jealous, moody bitch lately, I didn't even bother to ask.
Pushing a bite of tomato around with my fork, I thought back to the kiss Jared and I shared when I dropped him off at his house. A tender moment like that should never have to be rushed.
That familiar ache came and went, always returning in the quiet moments to suffocate me. It's actually quite funny how at one time I was juggling two men, and now I was ridiculously lonely. Wiping my eyes, I stifled it down. Kim would be here bright and early tomorrow and I had an evening of cleaning to get to. Not that I'd ever really be okay with them visiting me. Hell, my entire apartment could probably fit inside one of their bathrooms.
I finished my salad and pulled my hair up into a tight bun. It was going to be a long night, I just knew it. The kitchen was a complete disaster, the obvious starting point. Between traveling for work, and my little trip with Jared, my mail had piled up in a ridiculous stack, sliding off of the counter onto the floor. I wasn't usually this messy, but life had been stressful lately.
I stood on a chair to dust as I listened to Fall Out Boy. I caught up on my laundry and the rest of the place wasn't difficult. God, I hated cleaning more than anything and when I finally sat down, sweaty and exhausted around midnight, I rewarded myself with a glass of wine. Glancing around, I raised the glass to my mouth. It was now spotless.
Grabbing my purse on the way to the couch, I put the wine glass down and pulled my phone from my purse. There was just a message from Sara from earlier. I didn't bother to read it and tossed the iPhone down on the couch.
Getting drunk had always been my coping mechanism, my escape when I chose to turn my mind off. Between missing Jared and having to deal with my sisters visit, it would be completely reasonable to get totally wasted, but I didn't feel like it tonight. Instead, I finished my glass, showered and crawled into my big, empty bed.
I was able to sleep in and first thing in the morning, I saw Kim's IG post about family time in LA and rolled my eyes. They were all wearing matching shirts and had smiles plastered on their faces. The perfect photo of the perfect family. I hadn't seen any pics of Lola in years and couldn't believe how grown up she appeared. She was stunningly beautiful and was the perfect mini version of Kimmie. A mini me in designer clothes and shoes with a Louis Vuitton slung over her shoulder. Jesus, my sister must be so proud.
Sighing, I tossed the phone into my purse and carried two bags of trash down to the dumpster. I slid behind the wheel of my car and drove to the store to pick up a cheese and fruit tray and some bottled water for my guests. I couldn't have Kim over and not offer her family any snacks. It was nearly five when she finally messaged me to let me know that they were on their way to the hotel. She said they had to check in, but would be by soon.
When I arrived back at my apartment, I spent the next twenty minutes rearranging the furniture. Why was I questioning things so much? This was my job! I had even changed clothes at least three times, finally settling on a cute off the shoulder top and pair of jeans. I struggled to steady my nerves, but my heart began pounding in my chest when I heard the knock at the door. This was it, the moment I'd dreamt of and dreaded for years.
Taking a deep breath, I smoothed my sweaty palms down the legs of my jeans and raced toward the door. My bare feet gliding across the hardwood floor. I gripped the handle, forcing a smile on my face as I swung the door open. "Hi!" God, I sounded just like my sister. I threw my arms around her in the most ridiculous embrace. "It's so good to see you guys." She reciprocated, but immediately pulled away. Ignoring it, I then moved on to Steven. "You look fantastic. Have you been working out?" I didn't need him to answer. Of course he had. Steven looked wmore attractive than ever at fifty three.
"You look beautiful, as always Carolyn." Goddamnit! There was that name I hated. Would it kill him to just call me Carrie?!
"Thanks." Next, my throat went dry when I came face to face with Lola. It made me cry to know that I'd only seen her a handful of times since she was a baby. Once Steven and Kim moved to Portland, they made sure not to visit often.
Lola was even more beautiful in person and as hard as I tried to pull my fake act on her, I just couldn't. I took her hands in mine and gave her a genuine smile. "Wow, you're so grown up."
"It's good to finally see you, Aunt Carrie," she said, pulling me in for a hug. Fuck! My hands started to shake and I was struggling to swallow the lump forming in my throat.
I backed up, breaking the hug. "You're absolutely stunning, Lola. How's school going?" It has been years since I'd last seen her and everything inside of me was screaming to get my shit together, but nothing in the world could have prepared me for this moment.
"School is school. My goodness Carrie, are you going to invite us in, or do we have to continue our little reunion out here in the doorway?" Kim's sugar coated annoying voice pulled me from my trance like state.
"Oh, God, I'm sorry. Please come in." Backing up, I watched all of them enter my small apartment. I greeted the pretty girl with jet black hair and big blue eyes, who was clearly not a member of the family. "You must be Casey." I held my hand out for Lola's friend. She was a very pretty girl, but came nowhere near close to my gorgeous, petite Lola.
"Yes, ma'am. Your apartment is so modern. I love it."
"Thank you."
"It's small, but you've really decorated it very nice." Kimmie was trying to be pleasant, but the expression on her face said it all. She perched herself on the couch as if she were afraid of catching something. "Carrie is an interior designer, Case. She's rather well known in LA, one of the best, or so I hear."
"I love your style," Lola added, gaining a half smile from my sister.
I pointed to the fruit and cheese tray on the bar. "Help yourselves. There's some bottled water in the fridge." Of course, Kim moved right past the cheap plastic bottles to grab one of Jared's glass ones. He always left a few here in case he ended up staying over.
"Lola, don't eat too much of that, you know we're going to dinner soon."
"I won't," she glanced back with a smile. Frowning, I stared at Lola's cute little figure and tried to understand why Kim felt the need to remind a sixteen year old girl about dinner. Taking one more grape, Lola and Casey sat on the loveseat.
Silence lingered in the air, thick and heavy until Steve cleared his throat. "Reservations are for six."
"What restaurant are we going to?" I asked, standing up and stepping into my heels. My sister frowned when her eyes traveled down to my red heels. She would never be so bold as to wear something so flashy.
"I don't recall the name. It's a little seafood place on Melrose." Fuck, the pretentious bastard chose one of the most expensive restaurants in LA. Rolling my eyes, I waited for everyone to exit and locked the door. It was definitely going to be a long night.
