Even though our relationship had been steadily improving, there were still a few unresolved issues between Jared and I. We had simply been avoiding them and lately it was bothering me much more than I wanted to admit. There wasn't a single mention of Shannon in at least two weeks, and I was enjoying it.
Part of our trouble was my refusal to stay at Jared's house for any long period of time. I just cringed at the idea of accidentally bumping into Shannon there. After all, Shannon was his big brother, and even though they were currently not talking much, he did visit Jared quite often. I recognized how extremely close they were and Jared would never cut ties with his own flesh and blood like that. It was a fact that he and I were bound to cross paths again.
What would happen when we did? Would I cry, break down, or would I unleash my rage on him for the way he betrayed me? The damage to my heart was still fresh, but lately I had been fighting to accept my part in this fucked up situation. If I hadn't been so quick to drop to my knees for Shannon, none of us would be in this situation.
The guilty conscience had been eating at me for days and as I sat down next to Jared, I nervously watched him take a bite of his veggie burger. "What?" he asked, chewing the bite of food in his mouth. This was the first time I had been at his place for longer than an hour.
I looked around the room, hoping that it wasn't a mistake bringing this up now. "I've been thinking about something lately, and I feel like I should apologize to you."
Holding the mushroom stuffed bun, he stopped chewing for a few seconds and raised his brow. "For what?" He shoved the few strands of hair that was falling loose, behind his ear.
Oh well, here goes nothing. "For getting involved with Shannon. I've been so concentrated on my anger and hurt feelings that I've completely overlooked my own mistakes. If I hadn't gotten involved with him in the first place, none of this would have happened." I sighed, suddenly feeling sick to my stomach. "What kind of girl does that anyway, cheats on her boyfriend with his own brother?"
His expression turned serious, and he put the half eaten burger down. I watched his delicate hand pick up the napkin and bring it the his mouth. "You were set up Carrie. We've already been over this and over this. God, you certainly don't owe me an apology." His tongue swiped over his bottom lip as his palms moved up and down the gray fabric of his sweats. "I'm just as guilty as you are. Trust me, I've witnessed how women react to my brother." He started pacing back and forth, folding his arms and sighing. "Shannon made it known that he wanted you and I did nothing to stop it, knowing that it was just a matter of time before you gave in once the flirting started. I mean seriously, how could you not? Shan can be really persuasive when he wants something, we both can. You didn't stand a chance, don't you get that?"
"Even so, it shouldn't have happened." I picked at the sesame seeds on top of my untouched sandwich, pulling them off and dropping them onto the plate beneath it. Would things ever just be normal again between us?
"All right, fine, I'll tell you what, I'll accept your apology when you accept mine. After that, I don't want to talk about this anymore."
I nodded, sensing the tension in my shoulders beginning to subside. Even though the burning in my throat and brain was fading, I still had the uneasiness of possibly running into Shannon to deal with. "Carrie, can we drop it now? Let's enjoy our lunch and then go for a walk like we planned? I'll be leaving soon and we won't see each other for a month."
He had a good point. After lunch, we went for a walk around his neighborhood. With each step, my mind became clearer, more adamant about putting what happened behind us and moving forward. There was just something about the fresh air and warm sun on my skin that always put me at ease. Jared was in his element, pointing out things that I never would have noticed. That man didn't miss a thing, ever. We finally made it back to his place and ended up out back in the hot tub.
I finally relaxed and felt confident that nothing could spoil my mood. After a simple dinner, Jared convinced me to stay over with him and he made popcorn to go with the scary movie we rented. He even asked me not to make plans for Friday night. Apparently a friend of his was having a house warming party. Things hadn't felt so comfortable or normal in weeks.
I left the next day to go home and take care of some things at my place. We didn't speak much for the remainder of the day, but he did text, letting me know he picked up some dinner. We were back at my place where he stayed for the next few days.
Friday, Jared let me know early that Shannon would be over and they were working on some music, so I stayed away. I appreciated the heads up and kept busy, trying to decide what to wear that night. Surprisingly, Jared arrived to pick me up on time and drove us to the party.
My breath became caught in my throat when I noticed a familiar bike parked outside. "I'm sorry, I didn't find out that he was invited until today." Jared noticed my oh shit moment and immediately tried to calm my nerves. My mouth went dry and I didn't know what to say. I was upset that he didn't warn me, but knew that if he did, I would have stayed home.
"It's fine." I lied. Without waiting for him to open my door, I exited the truck and waited for him to come take my hand. We walked through the gate and I could see that the front door was open. We stepped inside and my eyes instantly met Shannon's. He wasn't alone, he actually brought 'her' with him. Glancing across the room, I heard Jared mutter 'fuck' under his breath. His hand squeezed mine tighter and I plastered a fake smile to my face as he introduced me to his friend. God help me, this was going to be a long and awkward night.
