After stopping home and picking up my bag, Jared drove me to the airport and we parted ways once again. I had two jobs, back to back, one in Portland and the other in Reno. My plan was to do the first job in Portland and then have a few free days. Shannon was meeting me there and we would have a nice little break together before I headed to Reno and he would fly back to LA.
I spent most of my flight composing a very long and apologetic text to Sara. We had been friends for so long and I knew that she would eventually get over me lying to her about what was really going on between Jared, Shan and myself, but it would take a while. I think she was really mad at the fact that I was with Shannon. God knows how much she hated him. If she only got to know him and gave him a chance, she might like him.
Even as I sat there, typing out that long, heartfelt text, my mind drifted back to Jared and Shannon. I was constantly losing concentration and reminiscing about the trip with Shannon to Wyoming and then to this past week with Jared in Malibu. Now that we were all on the same page again, things seemed perfect, but I kept waiting for the other shoe to drop.
I checked into my hotel and after an early dinner, I went to bed. The first few days flew by and I couldn't stop thinking about seeing Shannon. I was constantly checking my phone for a message from either Sara or Shannon, but the only person responding to my texts was Jared. How ironic, I thought, rolling my eyes.
It wasn't until I was in bed after a long hot soak in the tub, that Shan called to say he missed his flight. He was just going to fly straight home the following day. This meant no time together and I'd be all alone in Portland for an extra two days. I sat there, speechless and already depressed as hell. I couldn't shake the feeling that something was off.
I kept the worries to myself and tried to relax. Sadly, the time I had there was a total waste and I rarely left my room. I had enough free time on my hands to go over the events of the past year in my head and I kept coming to the same conclusion, I was in too deep to end it.
Two days later, I flew to Reno and things only got worse from there. After settling into my hotel, I sent him a simple text, asking if I had done something to upset him, but he wasn't responding and sent my calls straight to voicemail. I knew he was avoiding me.
For the next week, I kept to myself, doing my job and giving him the space that he obviously needed. Maybe he wasn't as confident as he portrayed himself to be. This three way relationship was a bit complicated and I guessed that everyone handled it differently.
When I finally made it back to LA, the first two days were crazy busy with unpacking and shopping. I had to take care of some things I had been putting off, but I did get a call from Jared asking me to have dinner with him. He was picking me up at six.
He was on time and took me to a new place that neither of us had been to. Jared tried to keep the conversation light, focusing on his solo projects and my recent jobs, but I couldn't help feeling like he was trying to avoid talking about Shannon. Something was wrong, I could feel it.
When I finally did get the courage to ask, he simply assured me that Shannon was just tired and in need of some time alone. With mixed emotions, I agreed to give it to him.
Did I do something wrong the last time we were together? Was there an issue I wasn't aware of?
So many questions left unanswered. Jared suggested that I go home with him, but I lied and told him I was tired. I felt sick, knowing that something was wrong and I felt completely helpless. By the end of dinner, I promised Jared that I'd go home and forget about it for the night, and I did. Unfortunately, that nagging little voice wouldn't let me. I got in my car and headed right to Shannon's.
I parked my car and punched in the code, eyeing the unknown car I parked behind. He and Jared had so many friends and there's no telling who was visiting.
Pushing the gate open, I marched right to the door, unable to shake the weird feelings that had taken over. I knocked, not knowing what the hell I was going to say when he finally opened up. The door swung open and there he stood, drink in his hand. It was obvious that he had either been out or was headed out. "Carrie, hi. Uh, what are you doing here? It's late."
I suddenly felt regret creeping up on me. "I just wanted to make sure everything was okay between us." Jesus, I sounded like one of those insecure/jealous girlfriends.
"Why wouldn't it be?" He looked at me confused as he backed up. "Come in." I had never seen him like this, not really drunk, but definitely not sober.
Biting my bottom lip, I stepped inside, a little worried about who I'd find in the house. There was no one, he was all alone. "I'm sorry, I guess I assumed that you were avoiding me. I mean, it's so unlike you to miss a flight and not even respond to my texts."
Smiling, he put the drink down and walked closer. "I don't know why you'd think that. Like I said, I did miss my flight and wasn't feeling well, so I just came home. It's been a little crazy around here, but I really was planning to call you and see if we could get together tomorrow." He took a few steps toward me, closing the distance between us. His expression softened and he pulled me against his chest. "I missed you," I heard him whisper as his hold tightened. The smell of alcohol was strong and he giggled.
I remained quiet, still feeling stupid for showing up. Pulling away, I backed up. "Well, I just wanted to make sure you were alright. It's late and I didn't mean to intrude on your privacy."
He knew I was still upset and again advanced toward me, but I wasn't having it. I turned and went for the door with him right behind me. "Carrie you don't have to leave. Come on, just talk to me."
I smiled, but it was just as fake as his sorry ass excuses. "Just call me tomorrow, we can talk then. Goodnight, Shannon." I leaned in, giving him a kiss on the cheek before walking out the door. I closed the gate behind me and got in my car, intent on going home, but ending up at Jared's.
When he opened the door, he was silent as he took my hand and led me to the bedroom. I should have just listened to him and stayed. I always did let my curiosity and fear get the best of me, but was that all this was, or was this the first cracks in the foundation of our three way union?
