Open Minds || Book 1 || Golix [OLD]

Chapter 7: Screw the World, Fuck it, Cut it

⚠WARNING: The following is not appropriate for readers that are easily disturbed! There will be verbal and physical abuse, blood and harm to a character! If you are fine with reading this type of shiz, carry on.  Just don't say that I didn't warn you!⚠

Phoenix's POV

     Barely conscious from the pain, I weakly crawl to my room, still holding the Nutella cup in my mouth.  I silently shut the door.

     I don't have enough energy to get up and go on my bed, so I sit next to it. As I open my Nutella, something glitters, just out of my range of vision.  What...?

     Turning, I see the magenta handle of my pocket knife. I- how is this possible?!  I threw that thing out over two years ago, right after Jeremy and I made the oath.  Why is it here? How is it here?!

     I turn away and eat three of the Nutella bread sticks when it flashes again, brighter this time.

     I turn towards it again, but this time, curiosity is flaring in my chest.  As I watch it, it flashes again.  I glance around my room to make sure that nothing was reflecting off of it. 

     Setting down my Nutella, I grab the knife and open it.  Holding it close to my face in the dim light, I can see a faint red mark along the blade, evidence and a reminder of past mistakes. 

'Or,' I think, 'Of future corrections.'  My eyes dart to the scars on my wrists, then back to the blade. 'Jere did it.  He broke the oath. He started again and he's weaker than me.' I pause my train of thoughts. 'No. He's stronger than me.  He usually tries to fight back.  I don't.'  More and more thoughts circle my mind, the sluggishness fading.  I look at my wrists again. 

    Ya know what?  Fuck it.  Screw the world.  I put the blade to my wrist, and it feels like live electric is running through my body, which isn't much of a stretch.  I press down harder, and break the skin.  Dark red blood seeps out of the line that I made.  I make five lines on each arm, and each time I think, 'Fuck it.  Fuck me.  Fuck the world.  I'm useless, a waste of space.'  

  Finally, when I start to feel dizzy from the blood loss, I set the knife down and wrap my new scars.  As I look for my phone I have one last thought. 'A mistake....'

Jeremy's POV

  Blinking, I give out a light hiss when the light hits my eyes. I have no idea how long I've been out for. Carefully, feeling pain shoot through my body as I roll onto my stomach, I crawl to my room and lock the door. I'm shaking in shock and pain, still unable to cope with the pain, even after 10 or 11 years.

  I go to my drawer and pull out an old emerald green pocket knife. Phoenix gave it to me when we were younger, during a school camping trip, so that if one of us got jumped, or were being attacked, we could defend ourselves.  
 
     Though, we both knew that it would probably be used for something else.  Even at that point, both of us...were cutting. I made an oath with Phe a couple of years ago, and we managed to stop cutting. But, a few weeks ago, I started again. 

     Pressing the blade in between two of my older cuts, I paused. I broke the oath. And this time, I don't care. Putting more force on the blade, it breaks my skin. I cut more lines on both of my arms and wrists. I start crying again, because what my dad says is true. I'm useless. A waste of space. A mistake. 

     I finish my self-harm session, and wrap my new wounds. I just finish wrapping my arms when I hear my phone vibrating on the wood of my nightstand.
 
     I walk over and check who it is...I freeze. It's Phoenix, and she wants to FaceTime. Why now?

     I swipe the screen, answering. I see her face and notice that she has a black eye, a slightly bloody lip, and some scabbing cuts on her face. 

"Ph-Phoenix? W-what happened?" I ask, worried about my only friend.
She looks at the camera, then looks away, and I see a tear roll down her cheek.

"I'm sorry...." she whispers.

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Hello, My Spirits. Thought that you got did of me? Well, you were wrong. I AlWaYs come back. Please don't kill me for the sad chapter. Otherwise, if you do, I will come back and get revenge.

Please don't kill me for this chapter.  And I'm sorry for the shitty editing yet again.