The Arrangement | Book 2 | Completed

11*

Matty's POV

Her lips are soft. They're exactly how I remembered them. I've missed this feeling. I've missed this feeling more than anything else. Kissing Candace is like taking a bite out of the best cake you've ever eaten. Or....fuck, I don't even know. Kissing Candace is like nothing I have ever experienced. It's nothing like Melissa. Our kisses are...forced, almost. It's as if we kiss because that's what couples are supposed to do. We kiss because we're obligated to.

Candace and I kiss because we truly want to feel our lips against one another. I kiss Candace because it's the only way I can feel this close to her. I kiss Candace because I want to, not because I feel obligated to. I've never felt like I had to do anything with Candace.

"What are we doing?" She asks into the kiss, but doesn't pull away.

"I don't know. Fuck, I don't know." I say, pulling away.

I am fucked up for this. I love Candace. I really do. But I also love Melissa. I can't do this to her. This is her biggest fear in our relationship, and I'm bringing it to life. I am cheating on her right now. I don't know why the fuck I'm so weak. Why the fuck am I so weak when it comes to my emotions. I did this shit to Candace, and now I'm doing it to Melissa. I'm not a cheater.

I'm not...so why the fuck am I doing this right now?

She doesn't allow me to stay away for too long. After a few seconds of collecting my thoughts, she leans back in and kisses me harder than before. I don't want to pull away this time. Instead, I place my hands on her hips and push into the kiss. She grinds down on my crotch, earning a low groan from me.

She feels so good against me. She always feels so fucking good.

"You don't have to answer, but just know that I love you." She whispers.

I could fucking cry from those words. I could fucking bawl like a damn baby. I love her, too. I love her so fucking much. But out of respect for my girlfriend, I can't tell her. I am disrespecting my girlfriend now by kissing Candace, but I feel like I just shouldn't tell Candace that I love her. Really, that's going too far. It's fucked up for both parties. It's fucked up for all of us.

"Shhh." I say, pressing my mouth against hers again.

This has to be different. This just has to be different. I don't want to seem like I'm using her, but I can't make let her think it's anything more than what this actually is.

Candace is going to be leaving for Vancouver again, and I have to stay here. We can't be anything more than what we're doing right now.

Are we temporary friends with benefits? Do I even want to mess around with that idea? Or are we just...two people reminiscing over the past? Who also...happen to be friends? Fuck, we're friends with benefits.

"What is this?" Candace asks.

"I don't know..." I mumble. I know that eventually, we have to talk about all of this. But I don't want to think of this right now. I just want to kiss her.

Instead of saying anything else, she kisses me again. She continues to grind down against my crotch and reaches down to feel me. I'm hard for her. I'm so fucking hard for her. I haven't felt this turned on in a long time. She begins to unzip my pants and I don't stop her. Instead, I lift us gently and help her pull the material down my legs.

Her hand slips down my torso and into my boxers. The feeling of her small hand against my dick is enough to make me come right then, but I hold off. I know there is more where this is coming from, and I don't want to end it too quickly.