The Arrangement | Book 2 | Completed

22

"Mel?" I ask, squinting my eyes at her to make sure I am seeing her correctly.

Oh, I'm seeing her. I'm seeing her and she is fucking mad.

"What the hell, Matthew? I've been calling you for hours! You've been ignoring all of them!" She screams, hitting my shoulder.

"Calm down, Melissa! I told you, I was out with Evan and Clarissa." I say, trying to stay calm.

"You lied about it! You lied to me!" She yells, hitting me again. People are passing and see the whole ordeal. I can feel their eyes watching us with caution. I have to get her away from here. I have to take her home where we can discuss this in private.

"Melissa, I'm not going to yell about this in front of some fucking club. Let's just go home and talk there." I tell her, reaching for her hand. As she jerks away, I pull out what I know always works on her. "Please, baby. Let's just go home. I've missed you." I say.

She softens slightly, but still refuses to take my hand. I lead her to the Uber that has been waiting for me and let her get in first.

"You have so much explaining to do, Matthew. I swear I can't leave for a month without you running off and living some kind of fucking bachelor life." She says, arms crossed and looking out the window.

"That's not how it is, Mel." I sigh.

"Do you know how bad I felt? I came here to surprise you before I have to go back on Sunday and you're here just...living la Vida Loca!" She yells.

"Mel, it's not like that. Please, just listen to me." I beg. I want her to listen to me so she doesn't yell and embarrass us in front of this Uber driver. I can see his cautious stares through the rearview mirror, and I'm doing my best to assure him that we are fine.

"I don't want to fucking listen to you! I just want to get home. Now." She says.

"We're on our way home right now." I assure her. I'm seeing familiar landmarks, indicating that my apartment isn't too much further away.

"No, I want to go to my own home." She spits out.

"Mel, please. Just calm down, babe. This really isn't a big deal."

These are the words that do it. These words are really what send her over the edge. This fucking sentence damn near ends my entire existence. I watch her turn her gaze from out the window to me painfully slow.

"What did you just say? Calm down? Just calm down, are you serious?" She practically growls.

"Yes, please. Just...relax. At least until we get home." I tell her.

"What the fuck are you doing spending so much time with that Evan guy anyways? And Clarissa? You've never spent time with her before."

"Evan kind of has a thing for her."

"I don't see why." She scoffs, crossing her arms.

"Don't be rude." I say. I feel like I'm always having to remind her of this. Don't be rude...it's such a simple request, but she seems to have a hard time being anything but that.

"Why are you defending her? Plus, someone like him could do what better than her. She's old anyways, and he's like...your age." She reminds me.

"She isn't old. She's only a few years older than us."

"Why are you defending her?"

"Because she hasn't done anything wrong, Melissa. Now if you don't drop this, then you are just going to go back to your house. Because I don't have the time or energy for this." I groan. Thankfully, she listens to me and doesn't continue her rant about anything and everything.

As we approach the apartment, the realization about our relationship is clear as day. I don't want to be with Melissa. I don't want to be near her, I don't want to see her or talk to her. I just want this relationship to be over. The realization is terrifying, and I know that I'm going to go through hell trying to end this, but this is just the way it has to be. I know that the struggles I go through in keeping her satisfied will never be good enough for her. I can't do anything in this relationship. I can't see my friends. I can't keep in contact with people I care about. I can't do anything with anyone. It isn't worth the arguments that will end up happening if I do. I know that whatever I do, I will always come home and find her pissed off about the next thing. I can't be with her because our relationship is fucking exhausting.

I am just fucking exhausted. I want out.

"Thanks for the ride." I tell our driver as I hand him some cash. God, he deserves a tip after sitting through all of that.

When we step out of the car, Melissa slams the door and walks up to the steps. I want to fucking scream with how fucking childish she's being. This is why she can't hold down a relationship for longer than a year. She starts getting fucking crazy.

"Mel!" I yell for her, but she's already halfway up the stai8rcase and to my front door. She hears me, I know she does. She's just choosing to ignore me. Typical fucking Melissa.

I follow quickly behind her and get in front of her and the door. She looks up at me with an annoyed expression and I can see tears brimming her eyes.

"God, why are you crying? Why? What the fuck is wrong now?" I groan in frustration. She's always crying. She is always fucking crying.

"Why are you getting mad at me? You're not the one who should be hurt right now! I am!" She cries, throwing her face into her hands dramatically. I roll my eyes, but thankfully she's too busy sobbing to take a real notice to it.

"Because you're being fucking insane right now, Mel. Look, I think maybe we should just...step back from all of this." I sigh.

She looks up at me with sad eyes. This isn't a fake sadness, either. This isn't the manipulative sadness that she tries to pull. This is genuine sadness.

"What?" She asks, almost in a whisper.

"I can't keep doing this, Mel. All we do is fight. All we do is piss each other off lately and I just can't live like that. I can't keep doing this. I just can't. I'm sorry." I finally admit.

"So you're....we're..." She begins in sobs.

"Yeah." I mutter.

"I can change. I swear, I can...I can change. I can't lose you, Matty. I just...I love you." She cries.

"I love you, too. But I love the carefree and independent Melissa that I remember first meeting. I want to be with that Melissa. Not this one." I tell her gently.

"I can change, I promise. I can. Just give me a chance, Matty. I promise I'll be different." She nearly begs.

It's at this moment that the most fucked up idea comes to my head. Of course it would be an idea. The most fucked up and perfect idea.

"Okay...how about this. We take a break. Take this time away from me to really think about how you've been, and i'll do the same. We've both had a big part to play in this. When you get home in a few weeks, we'll try again. But things have to be different, Mel. I want to hangout with people and go out again. I just want to feel like me again. Nothing off limits anymore. I just want to live my life without you assuming that I'm doing the worst. Just...take this next few weeks to show that you trust me. Show me that you trust me, Mel." I say.

"Okay. Yeah, okay. I'll do that. I'm sorry, Matty. I'm so sorry." She cries and crashes into my arms.

I know this is fucked up. I know that this is ultimately what she is terrified of. I know that I'm going to use this break and tell Candace that I broke up with Melissa. Which technically isn't a lie...but it isn't the truth, either. I'm using this break from Mel so I can fuck Candace guilt free. I'll get back with Melissa when Candace is gone, I know it. Even if she doesn't change at all, I probably won't care. I was fine with it before. It wasn't until Candace arrived that everything changed.

Candace changes everything.

"We'll be okay. I promise. After this break, we'll be better." I whisper, kissing the top of Melissa's head.

I know that although a part of this is true, it is mostly a lie. Oddly enough, I'm okay with it.