strawberries & cigarettes ; yoonmin

forty-four

It was almost as if he was submerged under water the way his peers voices and shouts sound muffle by the cinderblock walls, but it's soothing in a sense. Laughter and profanities, just teenagers being teenagers, it fills every empty hallway of the tiny school, fills Jimin's mind as he brushes past dark empty classrooms, sunlight pooling at his shoes, flooding in from the large glass windows. His nerves weren't as calm though, in fact his stomach aches as he rounds the corner for the lunchroom.

Kids flood the hallways, tossing balls of paper back and forth, some gossiping about their 'friends', most sitting legs crossed and laughing as they eat from their trays carelessly.

Jimin wonders how long it's been since he sat at lunch with a tray and just laughed so carelessly. He fights back the urge to turn around and hide back inside of the music room, well aware that if he were to Hoseok would find out and come personally beat the shit out of him (not actually gosh) for not falling through. He claimed Jimin should do this for himself, maybe then he'll stop blaming himself.

The plan, which was debated in the Wendy's parking lot for 40 minutes before Jimin was comfortable with it, still isn't the most stable. It's based upon Hoseok's beliefs, who by the way isn't even here, but he claimed he had eyes everywhere, and if years of friendship has taught Jimin anything it's that Hoseok doesn't bull shit around.

He swallows his nervousness, allowing himself to stroll into the lunchroom.

Hoseok was right for the most part, Taehyung will be alone for the next two weeks, and it was obvious how uncomfortable he is all alone, fork picking at his mash potatoes. It dawns on the shorter then that Hoseok isn't coming back next year, Taehyung would look this sad for the rest of his high school career? Somehow this motivates him to rush towards his old seat across the younger. He tugs it out, scrapping on the tile floor, but Taehyung doesn't look up, just continues picking at his food, lifting his milk carton and swishing the milk left in it around.

"I was never mad" Jimin skips hello's, desperate to say what he's wanted to for awhile now, but couldn't find the courage.

"You didn't act like it" Taehyung doesn't even glance up from his milk, he'd know Jimin's voice from anywhere.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to" Jimin whispers, silently praying that this conversation isn't as awkward as it was in his mind. Hell, he even debated in the empty music room for half the lunch period if he should even do this because the second hand embarrassment he was experiencing over the non-existent embarrassment.

"I know" Taehyung drops his milk to his tray, slightly taken aback by the sudden apology. In all seriousness, Taehyung hadn't expected Jimin to approach him today, or ever really. After their incident in Hoseok's truck he sorta assumed Jimin felt the same way about it, uncomfortable. The tension between them unwanted and so so so uncomfortably unbearable.

But most of all, Taehyung didn't think he deserved an apology, after all he's the one who let his shit emotions take over.

"Listen" Jimin whispers, grabbing his attention, "I was never mad because I never let you explain".

"Jimin-"

"You deserve an apology" Jimin mutters, leaning back into the navy plastic chair, "and Hoseok told me how much you don't think so".

He really doesn't.

"No because," Taehyung sighs finally meeting Jimins waiting eyes from across the lunchroom table, "I shouldn't of deleted them from your phone, and we all know that".

Jimin is still confused as to why he had if it wasn't jealousy, his theory of it being so fading as of recently.

"Taehyung-" why had you?

"It pissed me off how happy you looked" Taehyung admits, glancing away in shame, "Hoseok and I were so quiet, trying hard to find things laughable anymore, but you sat there faking in front of us and giggling in-front of Yoongi. At first I thought you were just replacing Jungkook, as if to prevent the hurt, but when I stayed with you then I saw Jungkook's name pop up, it hit me that he wasn't even gone in your eyes, at least he still talks to you.

"It hurt honestly" Taehyung sighs meeting Jimins eyes again, the typical whites of his eyes shaded over pink, glossier than normal, "I just lost Jungkook and I was losing you too, so that's why I deleted Yoongi, not because what Jungkook said".

"Do you know what Jungkook said?" Jimin eyebrows furrow as he watched the younger explain his actions.

"Found out when you flipped out" Taehyung brings his sleeve up to his eyes to catch the tears that are daring to stream from them.

Taehyung never cries.

"H-he liked you?" Taehyung's eyebrows furrow.

"Taehyung, look, hey" Jimin whispers as if talking to a child, reaching across gripping the younger's wrist in desperation for his attention, "it's okay, that was a really long time ago. He told me it's not like that now, hasn't been for awhile".

"Doesn't matter. He still hates me" Taehyung wipes his eyes dry, "has to".

"What? No."

"I'm sorry. Jimin I-I'm sorry that I deleted him" Taehyung shakes his head, "I was really hurt, you guys talk but he'll never t-talk to me again. Wanted you to know how I felt".

Jimin didn't have to hear much more to sprint up from his seat, he quickly shoved past random kids sitting with theirs chairs so far out he has to dodge the trashcans as he rounds the long table, running in between ignorant kids who don't know how to pull their chairs in. He slings himself into Jungkook's old spot, the empty seat no ones sat in for months next to Taehyung.

"Hey- it's okay" he hasn't comforted Taehyung like this for so long, "look, it's fine I'm not mad right? I forgive you, so why are you upset?"

Taehyung shakes his head, he promised himself not to think about how it felt then, it was selfish of him to ever wish his sadness on someone else, but in the end Taehyung just wanted someone he could relate to.

"Because I'm a big baby that's why" Taehyung chuckles, wiping his tears for what is hopefully the last time.

Jimin smiles in relief that Taehyung is starting to act like his old self again, leaning back he allows himself to rest.

"Yeah," Jimin smirks, "you just never show it do ya?"

"Nah, fuck that shit" Taehyung laughs, making fun of his sadness, the coping method the same as it always was.

"Yeah, emotions are gross" Jimin's felt enough of them lately to genuinely mean that.

"Amen" Taehyung smiles.

"So are we good?" Jimin smiles back warmly.

"Yeah" Taehyung nods, "we're good".

"Taehyung?"

"Yeah"

"I think the reason Jungkook hasn't talked to you is because he's afraid you're mad at him" Jimin smiles softly, "said how you read his diaries".

Taehyung nods, "I'd never-"

"I know that, but he doesn't" .

"Oh" he doesn't.

"You should tell him."

~~~~

okay for clarification, tae read kooks diary about liking jimin before kook left, when he deleted him from jimin's phone it's because he wanted Jimin to feel how he felt, not because the message (he didn't even read it), and the reason jungkook isn't talking to tae, but is talking to jimin, is because he's afraid tae was mad about the diaries, which he wasn't.

I'm unsure if that was confusing or not

aLSO MERRY CHRYSLER