strawberries & cigarettes ; yoonmin

forty

"Jimin!"

Jimin's eyes widen as he comes to a halt and turns in the direction of where his voice was called from.

His morning so far was already pretty shitty. To start, he spent too long in the shower for the first time in forever, except this time it wasn't because it reminded him of the comforting rain but rather he was lost in his own thoughts. He was rushed by Grandma Park out their screen door and out into the freezing cold after insisting a friend would give him a ride on such an icy morning, she simply commented on how it'd be too late for that and all his peers are already at or almost to his school. You could say that hit him like a shit ton of bricks as he hastily burst through the front door in a rush.

It had dawned on him then when she said that Yoongi really wasn't coming and he hasn't since he left the fading bruises on Jimin's neck.

It's been days and worry is starting to consume the young boy whole, distracting him from daily task such as showering or getting out of bed.

Except this felt like a new kind of worry, for once it wasn't 'where's Yoongi?' but rather 'did I mess up'.

His own thoughts are starting to fuck him over, at least he thinks so anyways.

"Hoseok?" he can feel his eyebrows narrowing in confusion.

"Why are you walking in 20 degree weather" Hoseok rest an arm onto his truck as he leans out the window to question the younger.

"I like walking" Jimin lies rather quickly, and if Hoseok hadn't known the younger for as long as he has he'd probably believe him, but he does know Jimin.

"Where's Yoongi?"

Jimin fights his lips trembling and the whimper that threatens to escape them, and even if he could blame it on the cold and lie to Hoseok he'd never be able to lie to himself. So he draws out a long sigh instead before stumbling over to Hoseok dodging ice spots along the way. He ponders whether he should lie about Yoongi or not as he approaches the older, maybe he should claim that he's already at school. As he raises a mitten hand to hold himself up against the cold metal door it dawns on him that he isn't even sure if Yoongi will be at school.

"I don't know" he whispers, teeth slightly chattering from the cold whether.

Hoseoks brows furrow rather instantly, "get in."

Jimin is in no mood to fight right now and allows his own feet to carry him around the front of the old pickup and into the passenger seat. The inside of Hoseok's truck, he notes, isn't much warmer than it is outside, but he appreciates the gesture non the less. Although he patiently gnaws on his peeling lips as he waits for the big interrogation.

"Why?"

Just that question alone almost brings the younger to tears.

Can he even handle this?

Jungkook already told him to stop worrying-

so why's he so scared.

"I just don't" Jimin leans his head back against the leather.

"So he didn't tell you" Hoseok sighs as he presses gently on the gas pedal.

"Is that bad?" he wonders aloud.

"Does he not trust you?"

"I think he does?" Jimin flutters his eyes shut, "at least he use to"

"Are you having problems" Hoseok finally ask as he turns into the school parking lot.

It stumps Jimin, he'd never thought they together were having problems. If anything he was paranoid over himself. His eyes flash open and over to Hoseok, who is attempting to park on a patch of ice, and a sigh fills the silent car. He huffs as he fiddles with door handle, only to discover his door is locked. Steadily he reaches a hand up to unlock it, but Hoseok grips his wrist before he gets the chance.

"Jimin" he repeats, except this time its much softer and laced with worry, "are you okay?"

What?

"Yeah" Jimin whispers, but something about the look on Hoseok's face says he doesn't believe him, "Hoseok-"

"Taehyung's really scared right now" Hoseok blurts, cutting off Jimin, "I think he thinks you'll never forgive him".

Jimin just sits in the the quiet, but his head thumps from his thoughts, so many, so different; it hurts to think, his hearts beating crazy. "Is Taehyung okay?" He'll never stop caring.

Hoseoks long sigh causes Jimin's head to snap up and peer over at him, "Hoseok is he-"

"He thinks he has depression" Hoseok frowns, "it's really hard for him right now, but it's strange".

"What is?"

"He asked the same about you" Hoseok nods before turning and reaching for his bag by Jimins feet, "that you were alright, I mean. I told him I'd ask if I had the chance, and I didn't think I would since I don't see you often anymore. I guess I just wasn't expecting you to still care about him".

Jimin never stoped caring, his heart would break if he did, and he sits bewildered, surprised that someone who knew him so well didn't already know that detail about himself, but maybe it's his fault for never really just coming out and saying,

"I'll always care" Jimin frowns, and he reflects on the past months. Sure they weren't bad, he still had Yoongi, but that's just it- he only had Yoongi, and the only times Jimin ever felt alive was alongside Yoongi, these days away were starting to take a toll, his loneliness eating away, because he only feels good when he laughs, and Yoongi was always and has always been the best distraction. Jimin won't admit to the time he cried at night about broken friendships and memories he thinks he'll never get to revisit, because at least in the morning he'd have a laugh. A laugh with the distraction, Min Yoongi.

"Will you ever talk to him again?"

"Hoseok, I don't know if-"

"He's just so sad" Hoseok frowns with a shake of his head, "I've never seen him so sad before, but I get it, that you might not want to see him again, he did play with your relationship". Hoseok leans over and pulls the lock up, hinting that Jimin can leave now if he wants, but Jimin sits still for a second confusing the older.

"Hoseok?"

"Yeah?"

"You think he did it out of jealousy?"

Hoseoks lips form a line, puffing up as he holds in his own breath, and he lets it out in one loud sigh, "I think he was just really hurt, and he took it out on you, but I don't wanna talk about that, it's not my place".

"I get it" Jimin speaks softly before reaching a hand to the handle of the truck door once again, "and Hoseok?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks for the ride" Jimin smiles warmly before pushing the bitter frozen door open and hoping out in the lot of the school. Hoseok waves from the inside as he shuts the door, and Jimin gladly waves back.

Jimin doesn't bother wasting time glancing over at the red camaro parked only 8 spots down, nor the boy sitting atop the hood.

~~~~~~

welcome back to: i'm writing this when i should be writing my 50 page essay, completing a 200 question study guide, remembering a poem before tomorrow, all in hopes of a 4.0 when this school semester ends:)