A Million Way's To Love You™∽For All Time∽♥Book 5

∽Chapter 19∽

*Michael's Point Of View*

I'm sitting in the handicap stall. I don't even know what makes me angrier, the thought of Channing being out of jail, or the fact that he is a constant reminder of what I did. What I caused. I have tried to refrain from my sensitivity towards the matter but, it really honestly hurts. I can never make up for what I did. I know Marilyn claims she has moved on from it but, I know no one ever does.

I know I didn't. I'm sitting on the porcelain toilet trying to stop threatening tears. They say a man shouldn't cry but, I think I have a free pass. Events from the past is replaying in my mind. From Evelyn, the baby, to that woman from the bar. The list goes on. I don't even know what to do right now. I could be overreacting. I let out a long, tired sigh before standing up. As I'm opening the stall door, I hear Bill calling my name from outside. "Mike?! Man answer me!", He demands, barging in. I desperately wipe my face in attempt to hide the evident tears. He walks up to me and sighs.

"Michael... ", He exhales, placing a caring hand on my shoulder. "Bill... You don't understand... I did something very bad... It was so indecent... I apologized only to do it again year's later. And-and then the baby... then the baby died and another one... Bill I was terrible! But she forgave me. Every fucking time! I don't deserve her... or what I have with her. I fucked up a lot man! I-I fucked up a lot...", I wince, turning to him.

Bill frowns, only to quickly scrunch up his face in frustration. "Michael... What's wrong with you? Man suck that shit up and go back to your wife! I'm sorry but look, they call the past 'the past' for a reason. Stop being so damn sensitive! I've seen you two. I don't see any pain, nothing from the past. Why can't you see it?", He's tone rose and fell as he realized he was only making me feel worse. I glance at the wide mirror that hung over the three marble faucets. "Because... I realize how much wrong I have done an-", "Fuck that. Tell me the real reason.", I'm surprised at his tone.

Bill rarely talks to me like this. Unless he's preparing to give me a speech. "I'm telling you... I. Don't. Know. I honestly don't. seeing him I guess reminded me of everything. He was right to want to fight for what was rightfully his. I would've did the same. Bill am I wrong? ", I ask, turning to him again. He wipes his face with his hand's. "Look, all I can say is that you need to stop beating yourself up over this. Just go out there, have a great time with your wife, then go back to the hotel to your kid's...and David.", I sigh then nod.

"You're right. I need to just forget it and keep on moving. ", "No you need to leave it here and continue living in the now. ", Bill adds on, escorting me out. I am glad we had that talk. I do feel much better. Now I just have to convince Marilyn the same. When Bill and I return to Marilyn's and I booth, the first thing I see is Channing sitting on the opposite bench of Marilyn; talking. I feel my blood already boiling. Bill must have sensed my rising anger because he gives me a quick look, indicating for me to not act on what ever I am feeling. I reluctantly nod as we approached the Booth.

*Marilyn's Point Of View*

"Michael... I felt sorry for the guy!", I stress for the second time tonight.  Michael stares at me silently. We have been arguing about my talk with Channing for three hours now. I am trying to make him understand that I'm not trying to have a friendship with Channing but, Michael doesn't want to hear it. When Michael walked off, I sat by myself for about ten minutes. After five more minutes, Channing slowly walked over to me to see if everything was okay. Still a little scared, I quickly nodded and told him everything was fine.

He stared at me for a minute before sitting down and apologizing. He wouldn't stop apologizing until I told him I forgave him but I don't want anything more. He said he respected that and then told me how he received parole for good behavior and now on an extended probation. Then he went into his move to New York to start fresh. When he told me these thing's I will admit, I warmed up to him. He's trying to change but, I will still keep my guard up.

Only thing, can I get my guard to understand that. "That man tried to kill me!", Michael finally screeches, breaking his silence. "I'm done talking about this...", I said with annoyance clear in my tone. I stand up from the couch and walk into the kitchen, placing my mug into the sink. Michael walks in after me and leans against the counter. "Well I'm not. Why does he want to meet up with you?", He asks calmly.

"What part of. I'm. Done. Don't you understand? Michael I didn't even say Yes.",  "You didn't exactly say no either. You know what? Do what you want! Just know that if you go... The kid's and I will go back to California... Without you.", He threatens, walking away. I sigh and look up to the ceiling. "Michael?... ", I call out, walking out into the bedroom part of our suite. Michael is walking out but turns around to glance over at me.

He looks more hurt than angry. "Michael... Don't be that way...", He breaks our stare then disappears behind the door, slamming it behind him. I stand there for a little over ten minutes before deciding to run after him. I can't let him storm off like that. Michael is the type of person that does anything when they are angry; even drinking. I quickly jog out of our suite, hopeful to catch up with him in the hallway. Fortunately, I am in sweats, a t-shirt, socks, and a hoodie, So I'm ready to chase him all over this hotel.

I walk down the hall, towards the first elevator where I spot Michael talking with Bill. Apparently, Bill is trying to calm Michael down and Michael being stubborn as s mule, won't listen. I jog over to them. "Mike you really need to calm down... Maybe she-", I interrupt Bill. "Michael... If you don't want me to...I won't go.", Michael glances over from Bill to me. "I don't care anymore. I'm going back to California. This week has been fun. Now if you excuse me I'm going to the dining hall...", He said, breaking our stare. BILL grabs Michael's arm.

"Michael stop acting like a child! Now I'm tired of you two arguing about stupid shit! Now take your ass in that suite and talk shit over or have sex do something! Just stop arguing! You have kid's that are taking notice. And I'm sure the other guest don't want to hear suite 622's whole argument!", Bill snaps, walking us towards our suite. Michael opens his mouth to protest but remains silent when Bill glares at him. We look like two teenagers arguing with our father in the middle.

"Now please... Go to bed.", Bill pleads, as Michael and I enter. "Thank-you Bill. ", I said with a small smile He shakes his head. "I don't get paid enough for this shit...", He mumbles, walking out, closing the door behind him. Michael plops on the bed. "Michael?... ", He turns the bedside lamp off, ignoring me. I sigh and make my way through the dark, until I find the bed. Sliding in under the covers, I scoot up against his back. "I love you Papa...", I whisper, planting a gentle kiss on the back of his neck.

He sighs then, rolls over on his back. "I love you too babygirl...", He whispers back, allowing me to cuddle into his chest. I know he's still pissed but just as long as he holds me now, we can argue all we want in the morning....

To Be Continued