Save Me (Roger Taylor FanFiction) [Wattys 2019]

13: Horrible Night

*12th  December 1971*

I LOVE YOU. The three words that mean so little to me are not ones I'm used to hearing. I don't want to have to sit and listen to someone lying directly to my face. I used to hear it from Lucas; that stopped long ago.

Why did I have to be stuck with Lucas? If it wasn't for Roger being an idiot, we'd probably still be together. I was so happy when he was mine. He didn't ever yell at me for no reason, he never bruised my wrists, he never did anything wrong until that night. He was gentle all the time.

Cheating is such a hurtful thing to do. It's selfish and wrong. Roger thought he could have his cake and eat it but I caught him. I never wanted to hear any excuses and I didn't want to hear that it wasn't what it looked like.

If only I hadn't caught him cheating, we'd be fine and probably still be together. There are so many things I wish I'd said but I wasn't strong enough.

Roger says a lot of things about how Lucas changed me. I never used to drink before I met him, I used to smile all the time and blah blah blah. Catching a person I really cared for cheating on me was the real reason I'd changed.

I hated Roger. I hated him for hurting me. I hated him for caring about whether Lucas had hurt me or not. I hated him because I still felt something for him.

It was times like this, 1 am in the morning waiting for my boyfriend to come home from some pub, that I wonder if Lucas even cares about me. Is he only with me because he needs someone to make food for him? I'm not making enough money for him to be with me for that.

No, of course not! Lucas cares about me, I'm sure of it. You wouldn't stay with someone this long if you don't care about them even a wee bit.

I don't even know anymore.

Where would I go if I decided Lucas doesn't care about me?

I don't know why, but the overwhelming need to hear Roger's voice spread through my body and I didn't want to resist it. I was alone, God knows when Lucas will be home. I knew Roger would still be awake at this time.

I looked over at the phone and decided to just do it. I still remembered Roger's number.

My hand shook as I dialed the number and held the phone to my ear.

It rang and rang but no answer came.

Then suddenly, fear filled my body.

The door opened and in stepped my drunk sounding boyfriend.

I slammed down the phone and prayed that Lucas would just go to bed.

"JULIE?!" His loud, slurring voice sounded through the house and sent terror through me. I hated when Lucas was drunk, it was always terrifying.

"WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU?"

I scrambled to my feet and made my way to the hallway. "I'm right here," I replied kindly, trying not to do anything to aggravate him.

"Why are you such a disappointment all the time?" He asked me, sounding scarily calm. That's when I noticed that he seemed to have a black eye. Maybe I was just imagining it.

"What do you mean?" I couldn't think of anything I'd done wrong.

"I know you are still seeing Taylor behind my back," He told me as if it was obvious.

"What?! I'm not seeing him, I actively avoid him,"

"DON'T LIE TO ME, YOU BITCH!" He lifted his hand in the air, brought it down and backhanded me right in the cheekbone with such force that I fell to the ground. I held my face and tears filled my eyes. He'd never ever properly hit me before.