Save Me (Roger Taylor FanFiction) [Wattys 2019]

22: Christmas Lust

*25th December 1971*

CHRISTMAS TIME WAS ALWAYS a very difficult time for me, even Roger couldn't make it easy.

When I woke up with my head on Roger's bare chest, I immediately wanted to cry. I couldn't shake the bad memories of that Christmas.

I felt guilty that I had had so much fun with Roger last night when I should've been thinking of that day all those years ago.

I unwrapped Roger's arms from around my body and sat up in the bed. My forehead rested on my hand and I swallowed the lump in my throat.

"Are you okay, love?" Roger's husky morning voice sounded behind me and I was broken out of my reverie. He sat up next to me and placed his hand in the middle of my bare back.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I replied, rather unconvincingly, lifting my head to smile at him.

He reached forward and rubbed my cheek with his hand. "Hmm," he simply said. He leaned in and tenderly kissed my cheek.

"I'm going to phone my mum and say happy Christmas to her, is that okay?"

"Of course, darling. Merry Christmas,"

"Merry Christmas to you too," I replied, pecking his lips and getting out of bed. I picked up my underwear from the floor and put it on underneath my oversized shirt from last night.

I went downstairs to the phone in the living room and dialled my mum's number. She picked up and I was glad to hear her voice after so long.

"Hello?"

"Hi, mum; it's me,"

"Hi, Julie! Merry Christmas!"

"And to you," I smiled.

"How've you been?" She asked as she always did. I never told my mum about Roger or about Lucas, she wouldn't understand. Ever since the accident happened, she hasn't really been able to support anyone with any problems. It always just became about how awful life was for her.

"I've been good, you?"

"I've been alright too, what's been happening?"

Images of running from my abusive boyfriend, straight into the long awaiting arms of my (apparently) cheating ex boyfriend who then forced me to involved the police flashed into my mind.

"Not much, how're you doing today?" She didn't have to ask to know what I meant.

"Well," she paused, searching for the words. "Christmas will always be harder than other days I suppose,"

"Yeah, I feel that way too," I looked down at my hand in my lap suddenly feeling tears coming again. I couldn't cry with my mum on the phone though, that would set her off.

"It's never been the same since..."

"I know, I know," I replied, desperately trying not to cry.

"I need to go," she told me, I knew she also didn't want to cry in front of me and that's why she had to go so soon. I didn't want to protest.

"Okay, I'll speak to you later, bye." I didn't wait for a reply. I hung up the phone and my head, once again, feel to my hands.

One single tear fell from my eye that I wiped away very quickly.

"Jules?" Roger asked from behind me. He sounded like a child who had walked in on their parent having an emotional moment. He sounded unsure and worried.

"Roger! Don't scare me like that," I squealed, covering my tears up with fear.

"Sorry, sweetheart. Jules, what's wrong?"

"Nothings wrong, darling. Everything is just as it should be, do you want me to make something to eat?"

"No, that's okay I'm not that hungry,"

"Roger, you need to eat breakfast. Don't worry, I'll make you something,"

I walked past him, glad to have my face out of his line of vision. I closed my eyes for a moment when I got to the kitchen.

I wasn't really ready to tell anyone the real reason I left Scotland; not even Freddie.

I started to make Roger the same breakfast I made for Lucas all those times. The difference was, this time I actually wanted to make the breakfast.

"You didn't have to do this," Roger said when I put the breakfast down in front of him.

"Roger, it's Christmas Day and this year you saved me from my abusive boyfriend, I think you've done enough to warrant a Christmas fry up without complaints from me."

"You're probably right," he agreed, cutting the fried egg with the edge of the fork.

He ate the rest of the food in relative silence; giving me enough time for my thoughts to drift back to my own ghost of Christmas past.

I needed a distraction.

And here was one sitting right in front of me.

I suddenly got up and sat on Roger's lap, my leg's on either side of his body. He seemed a bit surprised but his hands immediately found my back. I grabbed his face in my hands and kissed him hungrily.

His hands roamed around my body as he deepened the kiss. His hands found the top of the shirt and with one swift pull, he actually ripped the shirt in half. Literally tore it right in two. Good thing I didn't really like it that much.

I was now just in my bra and knickers straddling Roger's lap on his kitchen chair.

His arms were tight around me, one hand placed on my neck and the other resting on the bone in between my boobs. My hands were tangled in his long hair, his head angled up to meet my lips.

This was a good distraction. But maybe not good enough.

I didn't notice that I was crying until he pulled back from me, touched my cheek and then wiped my tears off of his own cheek.

"Jules, please tell me what's wrong. What is all of this about? You aren't usually the promiscuous one," he stroked my cheekbone with his thumb.

I ran my fingers through my hair and lowered my head to touch his shoulder.

"I'm sorry for acting so strange," I apologised, moving my leg so I was sitting with both my legs at the same side of him. He pulled my legs up so he could hold me properly. My head was tucked under his chin and I was wrapped in a blanket of warmth that came from his embrace.

"It's okay, love, I just want to know why you're crying. I don't want you to cry,"

A small smile fought its way through my tears at his kind words. It was maybe time to be honest with him.

"Roger, you can't tell anyone about this. And I mean that, don't mention it to Brian, Freddie doesn't know. Don't tell anyone,"

"Of course I won't,"

"Lets just go to the living room, and then I'll tell you after I go and get another shirt," I told him but he immediately began to take his shirt off.

"Just take that; I did just ruin yours,"

"Yeah, thanks for that," I smiled, slipping his shirt on over my underwear.

"I haven't been fully truthful with you about an aspect of my life," I said, sitting next to Roger on his couch.

"What do you mean?"

"Well," I inhaled deeply, "this is the real reason I left Scotland."

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A/N

Okay so, it's technically still Christmas for like 3 more minutes so Merry Christmas! I hope everyone had a good day (I know I did).

This chapter is totally unexpected and unedited so if there are any problems with spelling, overlook them and I will fix them for tomorrow.

Keep reading!

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