Save Me (Roger Taylor FanFiction) [Wattys 2019]

16: Breakthru

*13th December 1971*

AFTER HE WAS SURE I was vaguely okay, Freddie left, leaving me and Roger alone again.

I'd moved to the comfort of Roger's living room which, I was thankful to find unoccupied. I wasn't really sure where Roger was but I hoped he wouldn't come looking for me; I just wanted to be with myself.

I sat on the couch, a blanket was covering my legs and I could do nothing but stare at the wall, going over what had happened to me in my mind.

I wasn't sure where to go now or what to do, I couldn't exactly stay here. It was awkward enough as it is without the prospect of me staying here for the foreseeable future being added to that.

"Jules?"

Roger's voice broke me out of my thoughts and my eyes flicked over to him. My hopes of being left alone on the couch dissolved into the unexpected comfort and safety I felt at hearing Roger's voice.

"Yeah?"

"Are you sure you're okay?"

"I just don't know what to do now. Where do I go? I can't exactly go home, I need to break up with him but I don't want to see him."

"I could be with you if you need me to be if you want to break up with him," he offered.

"Rog, he doesn't like you as it is, that's really not going to do a good job of keeping the peace," I replied, not looking at him. "Actually, I never asked you this; why the hell don't you two like each other? When he and I first met, you clearly already knew one another,"

"We did, he used to date my sister who was way too young for him for a start; I didn't want her to go out with him because I knew a guy who was my age wanted more than what she at her young age could give him. He cheated on her with lots of women,"

"When we first met, he told me his girlfriend had cheated on him the day before,"

"No, that's just shit. He'd cheated on my sister many times and she found out about a week before you and he met. He's just lied the whole way through and I don't know what crap he told you about me, but it's really not true,"

"Well, he did tell me that you were a womaniser which, weirdly enough, you turned out to be just that," my bitterness clearly wasn't gone just yet.

"I wasn't doing anything that night, that was him too," His voice turned defensive and I couldn't stop the sarcasm that dripped from mine in response.

"Oh I'm sorry, did he push your heads together like Cindy dolls? Somethings are just down to you, Roger. That was your own fault," I could feel my face getting hot as the anger, hurt and betrayal I'd felt that night came jumping back to life.

"Jeanette and I were both drunk and he-" He began but I wasn't having this from him today. Not today.

"And that's supposed to excuse it, is it?" I was spitting with rage and I didn't want to hear his half baked excuses right now.

"Julie, you never ever listened to me. You didn't ever let me explain what really happened because you were too wrapped up in yourself and your own pain. I was obviously important to you, because when you caught us, you just immediately fell into his waiting arms. Then the two of you got together a few weeks later and that was that; I was suddenly dirt on your shoe," his sarcastic obviously cut through me like a knife.

"Do you think I wanted to hear your sob story about how drunken mistakes didn't mean anything? Do you think I want to hear that now? No, I definitely don't,"

"That's because you don't care, and now you're just using me so you don't need to go back to your crazy boyfriend who, by the way, I warned you about,"

"So you're saying this is my fault? I deserved this because I didn't listen to His Highness over here?"

"Of course that isn't what I'm saying, Julie! If you let me, I would go over there right now and kill him for what he's done to you but that's because I actually care about you,"

"And you think I never cared about you?" I retorted, ignoring the flutter of butterfly wings in my stomach at his words. Roger and I were both on our feet now, arguing like a married couple.

"You certainly never showed it!"

"Well it wasn't me who stuck their tongue down someone else's throat! If anyone doesn't care, it's you. You weren't thinking about me that night at all,"

"I THOUGHT IT WAS YOU!" His sudden and very dramatic change in volume scared me. "I have spent the last two years of my life being unable to think of anyone but you! That whole night I just wanted you to come outside with me so we could have a moment alone; why the hell would I have gone outside to smoke otherwise? I don't understand you, Julie, you never once stopped to listen to my side of the story, you were only ever interested in yourself," he continued at the same loud volume and waved his arms, making me flinch. When he saw this, the furious expression dropped from his face and he looked guilty.

"Did you- did you think I was going to... I'd never..."

"I know, it was just automatic," I replied, avoiding his gaze. "What did you mean you thought it was me?" I asked, my voice almost a whisper.

"I was drunk and Lucas came to stand with his pals for a smoke outside so I asked him to go and ask you to come out with me, if I hadn't been so out of mind drunk I wouldn't even have looked in his direction let alone sent him to speak to you. So he did and out came this girl, I could barley see so I was talking to her and I was sure it was you so I kissed her and then you came outside. I've never felt worse in my life when I heard the hurt in your voice. I didn't mean to hurt you, I'm so sorry. I never wanted to hurt you. Now because of a stupid drunken mistake, I've lost you,"

He fell back onto the couch, his head in his hands, clutching at his long blonde hair. I couldn't believe what he'd just told me. I didn't know how to react or what to say in response. I wordlessly sunk into the couch next to him.

"Roger," I mumbled, unable to put any power behind my voice.

He looked up at me, his face shone with tears and my heart broke. "Don't cry, Roger, please don't cry,"

He moved forward, off the couch and onto his knees in front of me. I took his face in my hands and wiped his tears.

"Please don't cry," I repeated, pulling his head forward and wrapping my arms around him. His face was buried deep in my chest and I felt his arms circle around my waist, pulling me closer to him.

"You haven't lost me," I told him, "I'm here."

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A/N

So I hope that explains everything! Roger isn't a dick who cheats on the girl he can't stop thinking about, he was just a drunk guy who made a stupid mistake that he obviously really regrets.

Who feels bad for him?

The next chapter might be a bit of fluff if I'm feeling it but we'll see I guess. I think this story is in need to some fluff to balance out the drama.

I'm now going to sleep because I am SO TIRED! It's been a long day, what about you guys? How's your day been?

Keep an eye out for the next chapter and as always, keep reading!

Xx