Voices // Namjoon x BTS

1

Sorry I made a few mistakes while publishing which messed up the chapter so that's why I'm publishing it again.

-not edited-

Blankly staring up at his plain white ceiling, Namjoon was yet again waiting for sleep to take over him but it never came just like it hadn't the past few weeks even after taking sleeping pills. No one knew that he had been taking sleeping pills for past months but even they had stopped working now.

Whilst staring at the ceiling, he ponders the meaning of life. He wonders why he was living, what was the purpose behind his life. Was he born to live or living to die? He had no answer to that.

Every passing day he was becoming more a robot than a human, his actions becoming more robotic, doing the same tasks he did every day. It was like he was commanded to do the same actions every single day.

Finally, he removed his eyes from the ceiling, he looked at the clock beside him. It read 5:00 in neon green colour. Sighing, he got off the bed and made his way to the bathroom which was just between his room and the lobby.

He stood under a cold shower hissing when the water kissed the new drawings he has drawn the other night. He had heard that cold showers help to lose weight and are good for skin and hair, so he supposed that it would be a win-win deal. Quickly washing himself he get out the shower and dried himself, hurriedly putting clothes on while trying his best not to look at the mirror. Succeeding, he left the restroom.

He made his way to the kitchen, and start making coffee. He was not a big fan of it but since the sleeping pills stopped working, he turned towards coffee and energy drinks to get energy he was starting to lack.

While the coffee was brewing, Namjoon faced an inner conflict, if he should eat some cereal or not. It had been a few days since he had a proper meal and that even was for the sake of living not because he was hungry. Namjoon had lost his appetite to eat a long time ago but he supposes it was good that he did since he was already so fat.

Don't eat cereal you do not want to be fat anymore or do you? Namjoon flinched when he heard the voice but he obediently complied with its commands like he always did.

He finished making coffee and sat at the table. He stared at the coffee which sat on the table, he watched the steam dance in the air. Curious to find out how hot the coffee actually was, Namjoon put his finger on the surface only to snatch his hand back quickly in pain. He saw the ripples being formed where he had touched.

You deserve pain.

Nodding to the voice, Namjoon drowned his finger fully in the scorching cup of coffee. He watched the coffee with eyes squinted in pain but he couldn't deny how good he felt, the pain making him forget the worries of the world and quietened the voice down.

"Who is sitting at the table? Sorry, I can't see properly without my glasses," he heard Seokjin's raspy morning voice. Quickly, Namjoon pulls his finger out of the cup and thanked the god that Seokjin was not wearing his glasses.

"It's Namjoon, Jin hyung," he replied.

"Oh I should have guessed since you are the first one to get up and that the others would sleep for ages if they are not awakened," Seokjin snickered. "Anyways, Joon can you be my dear dongsaeng and hand your favourite hyung his glasses, which from what my memory says should be on the table."

Namjoon followed the older's request and give the glasses to him. Just like how seokjin's glasses were placed on his face, namjoon's mask also came on. He stood before the eldest with a wide smile.

"Joon-ah, what would you like to have for breakfast?"

"Nothing hyung, I already ate cereal," the leader faked a smile. Lying and acting for almost two years or so had made him an expert in doing both. Picking up the mug in his hand, he followed behind Seokjin to the kitchen and watched the elder prepare breakfast like every morning.