Voices // Namjoon x BTS

25

-not edited-

The door was quietly shut close.

The women quietly put her things on the table and tip toed towards her son's bedroom. She had come early from work and could not wait to surprise her son.

As she neared the room she heard sounds of someone crying, she frowned. Namjoon was crying?

She peeked inside the room, thankfully the door was already opened a bit so she did not have to open it, or else Namjoon would have known that she had come back. And she did not want that to happen yet.

She saw Namjoon hugging a pillow sobbing uncontrollably. The sight pained her, felt like her heart was stabbed with a sharp knife and twisted.

"I miss you, I wanna be h-home." She heard Namjoon. Was he not already home?

"Jungkook, I miss you so much," he sobbed.

"S-Seokjinnie, Yoongi, H-Hobie, Jiminie, Taehyungie, Kookie I miss you all so much. I feel so alone h-here," he cried.

The loneliness was too much, he could not bear it.

"I-I feel like I-I'm going crazy. The voices. They are everywhere. Tell me you love me, y-you miss me, r-right? They are all w-wrong, please t-tell me," his body shook as he sobbed.

"They say therapy would help, b-but I don't want it, I want you a-all."

His mother just stood silently, tears slipping out her eyes. Maybe this was not right. Maybe they were not what Namjoon wanted, needed at the moment. Despite being family they could not help Namjoon, not this time because their Namjoon had changed. They could not empathize with him. They did not know what Namjoon felt, what he needed.

Their Namjoon had changed after the debut, changed because of being under media pressure. This was not their happy carefree son but their son who had been through so much and had lost himself, lost the sense of what was right and what was wrong. He needed the other boys who had been through what he has, could understand what he felt, who were his other family. She did not mind one bit that his son did not want to be with them, she understood why he wanted that.

"I want to b-be home," he painfully whispered.

And she knew what had to be done.

.~.~.~.~.

She went back and purposely dropped the keys loudly so that Namjoon hears them.

"Namjoon, I'm back early today, surprise!" She called out.

Namjoon ran towards the bathroom and washed up, trying to make it as if he was not crying though he failed.

Namjoon appeared before his mother, his dimpled smile shining bright. His mother sadly smiled, now knowing how all the smiles he gave were fake, she should have known.

She glanced at how messed up her son looked. Pink eyes, still messy hair and wrinkled clothes.

She smiled, her dimples becoming prominent identical to Namjoon's. "It's been a week since you have been staying with us right?" She walked into the kitchen, deciding to get something to eat.

Namjoon followed behind and nodded, "Yeah, it's been a week," Namjoon trailed off not understanding where the conversation was going.

His mother took some cucumbers out of the refrigerator and proceeded to cut them, knowing that it was one of the few things that her son could keep in in his stomach easily.

"I thought that it's time that you can go back, I love having you her-" she was cut off by Namjoon suddenly hugging her.

"Namjoon-ah, I'm cutting!" She yelped.