Voices // Namjoon x BTS

5

-not edited-

Namjoon's eyes fluttered open with a dimpled smile, finally gotten the sleep he needed desperately, not having more than one or two hours of sleep for more one week.

"Cute."

Startled, Namjoon fell off the bed with a thud. "Sorry hyung I didn't mean to scare you!" Jimin scrambles out of the bed and helped his hyung up, who reassured the younger that he was fine.

"I'm fine jimin-ah, it's just that I forgot that you were sleeping here."

"I don't know how to feel about you forgetting about me so I'll just let it be, let's go out and eat breakfast."

"Chim, didn't you have to go somewhere?"

Jimin narrowed his eyes, chewing his lip. "Oh yeah, I was going for hiking with some friends early morning at six or something but then I saw you in the bathroom..." Jimin trailed off but quickly added, "but it's okay, I'm happy that I was able to help you." With an uncertain tone, he continued, "I'm thankful I saw you at the right moment and was able to stop you from doing something you would've regretted."

Namjoon still felt guilty for being the cause of Jimin not going hiking with his friends, especially when they rarely got a day off because of their hectic idol life. Namjoon still didn't know how to feel about someone knowing about his depression, him self-harming and finding him when he was about to attempt suicide.

"Hyung I'm going to go to my room and grab my glasses, come to the kitchen when you have freshened up," with that Jimin left the room, closing the door behind him.

Namjoon sighed and went to his closet, grabbing whatever he saw and made his way to the washroom to take a shower.

Done with the shower, Namjoon stood in front of the fogged mirror. Mindlessly, he took his index finger and wrote the words the voices inside his head used to describe him. Pathetic, worthless, fat, useless, talentless and words synonyms to them had been decorated on the mirror. Realizing what he had written, Namjoon took his hand quickly wiping the words and felt the familiar itch on his thighs calling out to him to cut them.

Desperate, Namjoon frantically looked for his blades but to his misfortune he found none. "Hyung, are you okay? You've been inside for quite a long time," he heard Jimin's voice call from the other side of the door. Realization dawned on to Namjoon that it had been the younger who had hidden his blades but he didn't say anything, instead just made a note to himself to carry a small blade with him from now on, in of course a small case to not hurt himself or another person close to him unintentionally by it.

"Yeah Jimin-ah I'll be out in a minute," Namjoon replied while hurriedly pulling on the clothes being careful of the deep cuts that he had bandaged hastily after hearing the younger's voice.

~~~

The lovely effects of soju had left and now Seokjin was dealing with the nasty ones. His head throbbed from the aftermath of drinking, regretting his decision of drinking in first place but it was too late now.

"Aish my head hurts so much, it feels like someone had fucking used it as a freaking drum," Seokjin hissed, squeezing his eyes while massaging his forehead in hopes to ease the pain.

Namjoon walked into the kitchen, finding the eldest and Jimin being the only ones present there. Jimin was busy cooking for who he guessed was Seokjin and himself.

Frowning Namjoon asked the older, "hyung, why are you wearing sunglasses inside?"

"Why? Are you judging me? And to answer your question I'm wearing sunglasses because my eyes are being too damn sensitive to light so the sunglasses solved the problem," Seokjin shrugged, slightly wincing from the headache.