Voices // Namjoon x BTS

4

-not edited-

It was the night when the music video of 'save me' had been released. All the members were anticipating for the day to come, except Namjoon who was dreading it knowing too well the hate that would be directed to him, he was speaking from experience of countless times. Before Namjoon would jump up and down from excitement to see the reactions of army but each time he got hate, he got less enthusiastic. He still tried staying optimistic thinking that maybe this time army might like him but slowly his hope to meet armys expectations died down each time he saw hate comments on their videos, knowing his presence alone was a nuisance in the video and after a year he stopped being excited and hopeful altogether.

The members were celebrating the release of the new music video, drinking soju and beer. However, Jungkook and Taehyung decided to play overwatch in their room since Jungkook was still underage and Taehyung was a lightweight and preferred not to drink.

Namjoon decided on only drinking a beer, not wanting a hangover the only day they had off after so long. He looked in front at the three drunkards and a sober who also decided not to drink much saying he had a place to go early morning.

Hoseok's face flushed red, blankly staring at the glass of soju in front of him. Seokjin and Yoongi talking amongst each other, their conversation not making sense and both giggling mindlessly. It seemed like Namjoon was seeing the older rapper laugh genuinely after a long time, after the older's behavior had changed couple of months ago it seemed that he was forcing things not genuinely doing them. Namjoon wanted to talk to his hyung about the change but he didn't know how, he just hoped it was nothing serious.

Jimin left to his room, taking his roommate with him, claiming that he had to sleep early so he is able to wake up early to leave to somewhere he had to be. After the two eldest of the group drank a couple more drinks, Namjoon helped them walk to their room and tucked them in bed, as soon as they hit the bed, they were gone as quick as light.

Sighing, Namjoon quietly close the door behind him and went to his room. He checked the time and realized that they had been drinking for four hours, well his hyungs had.

Namjoon laid on his bed with his phone in his hands. He stared at the lock screen, contemplating whether or not he should see the armys' comments, knowing too well that comments directed to him were going to be anything but positive.

Curiosity killed the cat and Namjoon found himself entering the passcode and going over to YouTube app, clicking the red icon. Searching the video up, Namjoon quickly paused it and scrolled down to the comment section.

He smiled seeing the reactions of army loving the music video, the new choreography, and army motivating others to stream the video. He scrolled looking at the comments praising the other members, he was beaming looking at the comments of love towards his brothers. But soon his dimpled smile turned upside down just by seeing a short comment.

Namjoon leave bangtan.

The comment consisted of only three words, and the ignorant commenter did not know the impact their words held. Those three had been mindlessly written in a matter of couple seconds, yet those words stab Namjoon's heart so painfully that it was hard for him to breath. Bangtan was not just a idol group to Namjoon, it was his family who he had been living with for years and the members were his brothers who he loved dearly. If his brothers had not been with him, he would've gone insane by now it was due to them that he had a small piece of sanity still left in him, that the voice had not yet overtaken him fully.

A tear rolled down the leader's face but he still scrolled down the page, his brain blinding out all the positive comments towards the members and only focusing on the negative ones directed to him.