No More Games

67

Michael's Point Of View

I was bawling my eyes out, pacing the living room of Madam Adelaine as I ran my fingers through my hair.

I've never been so angry and frustrated in my entire life. I was mad at myself, I was mad at Sasha, I was mad at my family, I was just mad at the whole world.

I came over to Madam Adelaine because I needed to get away. I wanted an escape and coming here is exactly what I needed.

"Go ahead and let it out, darlin'. Release all dat built up frustration." Madam Adelaine sat down, watching me cry and pace her living room. "Tell me what's on yuh mind, son."

I calmed down a bit and sat down. "I can't believe I was about to hit Sasha. The woman that's carrying my baby."

"Now, what caused yuh to do such ting?" She narrowed her eyes at me. "Yuh don't give me de impression of a violent individual."

"I. . .I just can't—I cant even explain it. All I know is when she slapped me, I just blacked out from pure anger." I shook my head, wiping my eyes. "Just everything that's been going on in my life from my issues with Sasha, to finding out that Joseph will be dead from cancer soon. . .I'm just mad at the world."

"Mmm," she handed me a tissue. "Is dat hurt yuh feelin' or is it anger?"

"It's both," I said as tears fell from my eyes, "it's both."

"Tell me what is hurtin' yuh. Speak about—Well, look who just walked in."

I looked up at madam Adelaine then turned around to see Sasha slowly walking towards us. Her eyes were bloodshot red from obvious crying.

I turned my face and quickly wiped my face of all my tears. I didn't want her to see me this way. "Sash, why are you here? I almost hurt you back at the house."

"I know you didn't mean it, Michael." Sasha came around my side and grabbed my hand, "stand up."

I was confused but I did what she asked of me and stood. As soon as I stood up, she wrapped her arms around my neck, pulling me down into the tightest and warmest embrace I haven't felt in a long time.

I completely broke down again but this time all I felt was hurt. Hurt from everything I put her through.

"I'm so sorry, Michael." She cried. "I'm so sorry about Joseph."

"I don't give a fuck about that man," I pulled out of her hug, "I only care about you and the three humans I'm going to be fathering soon." I wiped her tears with my thumbs. "I've put you through so much and you don't deserve any of it."

"Michael, I know you care about me but don't say that about your father." Sasha looked deep into my eyes. "You know you don't mean that. I know you're just hurt."

"Of course I'm hurt," I moved away from Sasha and began pacing again, clenching my fist, "I just don't care anymore! I don't care anymore! Almost all of my life I've wondered what it would be like to just call him dad. All I could ever do was imagine having that father-son bond that I've watched so many of friends have. I've never gotten a simple hug or kiss on my head or an 'I love you so much, son. I'm so proud to be your father'. All he's ever been to me was a great manager. Not a father!" I cried. "I needed him. I needed him, Sasha! He's cared and loved Joh'Vonnie more than us! He let her call him daddy and forced us to call him Joseph! You know how I found out he was dying? Cause I overheard him two days ago talking on the phone with her. Telling her how much he wanted to spend time with her. He told her he had cancer before telling any of us! We were here first! Then you want to tell me to stay for a so-called dinner where you're going to tell your children that you're dying? We couldn't get a call like Joh'Vonnie did?"