No More Games

68

NOVEMBER 20

Shad's Point Of View

For the past couple of days, I've been searching myself and trying to piece back together parts of me that were completely broken.

Though I've gone to therapy and have gotten so much love and support from friends and family, I still somehow feel incomplete. I still felt very void.

Through my self searching, I found myself being very curious of a lot of things and with that curiosity came a lot of anger and animosity.

Every day that I've spent with my niece Raelynn, I see so much of Andre in her. It hurts me that she never got to meet her dad. Andre wasn't a saint and what he did was fucked up but he didn't deserve to die the way he did. My sister lost someone she loved and my niece lost her father.

And watching my sister sometimes cry whenever she's holding Raelynn, angers me deeply. It angers me that one man caused all this pain and loss for my family all because he was insecure and jealous of his brother.

I needed to face Jermaine.

Unless I came face to face with the man that destroyed a part of my sister's life, I won't ever be at peace. Ever.

I need to look into his eyes and be able to tell him that I'm going to make him pay for all the shit he's done.

So I concocted up a plan with a few of my homies that are locked up in the same prison as him.

"So you're not gonna tell us where you're going?" Lauren looked at me as she rocked Raelynn in her arms. "Ever since the incident you've never went—"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. . . I've never went anywhere without telling you guys the location," I rolled my eyes, grabbing the car keys. "Y'all ain't gotta worry about me. I ain't suicidal."

"Mmm," she sized me up and down, "does Sasha know you're taking her car? You know her and Michael got this thing in an hour."

"She knows," I said, grabbing my jacket. "Michael is picking her up later. She won't be needing the car anyway."

"Alright. Just please be safe wherever you're going."

"I will," I kissed the top of Raelynn's little head before walking out the front door.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sasha's Point Of View

A huge part of my brain was telling me how stupid this date with Michael was but my heart was aching to be with him. I wanted to begin this 'fresh start' journey with hopes of repairing our friendship.

The butterflies in my stomach were having a field day, making me nauseous beyond discomfort. I just didn't know how I was going to have a good, lighthearted time with Michael without the bullshit he's done constantly popping up in my mind.

I know I'm going to have to swallow that big pill of amnesia if I'm actually going to give this a try.

"Shad just left in your Benz. Did he tell you where he was going?" Lauren walked into my bedroom holding Raelynn in her arms.

"Nope." I said, truthfully. "He just said he's gonna have it all day and he'll replace the gas. As long as he refuels, I don't care where he goes." I shrugged.

"Oh, ok. Anyways, are you excited about your little date with your baby daddy?"

"I wouldn't call it a date," I rolled my eyes, taking the baby from her arms. "What do you think, chunky butt?" I cooed at my niece's cute little face. "Should titi go out to lunch with Michael?"