Poison

Chapter Three

Warning: mentions of domestic abuse, homophobic/transphobic slurs, thoughts of suicide, mentions of rape

Hamilton dropped onto his bed after a long day of classes. He blew a strand of hair that fell out of his ponytail from his face, and reached over to grab his computer. It's only been a week since classes started and Hamilton was already stressed beyond anything he experienced in high school. He struggled to sit up, looking down at his stomach. I need to lose weight, Hamilton told himself. He began typing out an essay that was due in three weeks, not wanting to get a bad grade on his first assignment.

He finished his outline and began working on his introduction when Jefferson yelled his name from the living room. He groaned and got out of his bed, unlocking and opening his door. He found Jefferson reading something on his phone, a scowl on his face. He lifted his head when Hamilton stood himself right in front of Jefferson's phone.

"What do you want?" Hamilton asked, backing up a bit. Jefferson slipped his phone in his pocket.

"We're going out. Laf wants you to come to a party the Schuylers are throwing." Jefferson made a gesture at what Hamilton was wearing. "That's not going to work."

Hamilton crosses his arms. "Then what do you suggest I wear?" Jefferson shrugged and walked past Hamilton and into his room. Hamilton followed him, standing in the doorway. Jefferson scanned Hamilton's room, this being the first time he ever went in it. He noticed the plants hanging on the walls and the green quilt on his bed. After he scanned the room, he went to a dresser, opening and closing the drawers until he found a drawer with jeans. He pulled out a pair of black ripped jeans, then went to another drawer and pulled out a dark green shirt with "COFFEE" written across in big, white letters, and threw them at Hamilton.

Hamilton grumbled and went into the bathroom, changing quickly, being careful not to look at himself in the mirror while changing. He always hated his appearance. Hamilton then opened the bathroom door and went back into his room, twirling some for Jefferson to see the whole look. Jefferson nodded, satisfied with his work. "Get some shoes on and hurry up, we're already late as it is." Hamilton threw a pair of black converse on and quickly hurried after Jefferson.

"What kind of party is it?" Hamilton asked curiously, trying to keep in step with Jefferson's long legs.

"Laf described it as a 'Congrats, We Survived Our First Week Of College' party." Jefferson slowed slightly, letting Hamilton catch up. "He said that younger Schuyler is going to be there too."

"Peggy?" Hamilton asked. Jefferson nodded. Hamilton smiled. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad. He and Peggy are close friends, and she probably wouldn't know a lot of people there. Worst case scenario he and Peggy could just go back to his dorm and have a sleep over. He and Peggy would always have sleep overs, even if her sisters hated the idea. Peggy was the only person he told about being trans, besides Laurens. He shuddered about the idea of Laurens, but kept his head held high as he walked into the Schuylers' huge dorm. As the music blared around him, he felt surprisingly safe with Jefferson next to him.

"If the cops show up, go out the back, that way you won't get caught," Jefferson muttered before slipping off into the crowd. Hamilton nodded, watching Jefferson meet up with his friend, smiling and laughing. After a few moments, he looked around, trying to recognize anyone. He soon found Peggy, sitting on the couch and laughing at something Eliza said. Hamilton grinned, pushing through the crowd and slipping into the seat next to Peggy.

"Pegs, long time no see!" Hamilton said with a smile. Peggy, shocked for a moment, turned and hugged Hamilton tightly.

"Lexi!" Peggy squealed. "How're you been? How's the college life? How's your roommate? How's John?" Hamilton put a hand over Peggy's mouth, chuckling to himself at the excited girl.

"I've been good, college life is alright, my roommate is sort of a prick but I can handle him, and John is great." Hamilton lies about that last part. He unconsciously covered his side, where a large bruise currently sat on his skin.

Peggy noticed the slight movement, but brushed it off. "Your roommate is a prick? Wait, who is your roommate? Is he hot? Is he here?" Peggy began looking around the large dorm, scanning for a potential date.

"Jefferson," is all Hamilton said. Peggy's head snapped in Hamilton's direction. Quickly and quietly, she grabbed his hand and led him out of the crowded room and into an unoccupied closet. She locked the door and turned the light on to face Hamilton.

"Ok, let's talk." She sat down on a box and patted next to her, motioning for him to do the same. Reluctantly, Hamilton sat down.

"He hasn't done anything noteworthy, just called me tranny or faggot a few times. He mostly tries to ignore me it seems. I want to move past it, I want to start over, but I don't know how. We're past that clique and popularity bullshit, I think we should try to see past what we saw each other as in high school and just start again."

Peggy nodded along, absorbing the information. "Have you tried talking to him, maybe?" Hamilton simply stared, before he slowly shook his head. "Maybe instead of just trying to move on and forget everything, talk to him about it. Tell him you want to start over, ask if he's ok with that, and see how it goes." Hamilton nodded, remaining quiet. "Have you been having thoughts again?" Peggy asked quietly, so quietly Hamilton almost didn't hear her.

⚠️Suicidal Thoughts⚠️

Hamilton sat in thought. He nodded. He had been thinking about killing himself, but for different reasons. He hated that Laurens was at his college, that he could just come over and take advantage of him whenever he wanted. He hated his body, which looked huge now. He hated how Laurens would beat him or threaten him with horrible things if he didn't comply.

"Have you talked to anyone? Or did you, you know...?"

⚠️Mentions of Rape⚠️

"I haven't attempted again, if that's what you're asking." Peggy just nodded, wrapping her arms around Hamilton in a warm embrace. Hamilton remembered the first time he attempted with horror. He remembered how fast the rumors flew around the school. He remembered how everyone thought he tried to kill himself because of Jefferson's constant bullying. He remembered how they were wrong. He tried to kill himself because that was the day Laurens first took advantage of Hamilton. He remembered feeling so disgusting and weak. He shivered, causing Peggy to start rubbing his back.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Peggy asked sweetly, pulling away from the hug.

Hamilton opened his mouth. He wanted so desperately to tell her. To explain how Laurens would beat and rape him almost daily now. He wanted to tell Peggy so she could help him. He wanted it all to end, for the horror to just stop. Before any sound could escape his mouth, they heard sirens and someone yell "POLICE!"

It took a split second for Hamilton and Peggy to share a look, fling open the door, and sprint out through the back. Just like Jefferson had told him to do.

Ugh, this chapter was supposed to be fun :(
Sorry y'all, can't help myself when it comes to angst

Word Count: 1280
(Longest chapter I've ever written, yay!)