Poison

Cut Scene

Okay ! So !
I had a scene in this book and I guess I deleted it? Anyways I kinda really liked the scene cause it was angsty but we still got this Hamilton/Jefferson sass going on and I feel like it just kinda fits with the characters. And it's angsty so I like it. Here's some background:
-It takes place either between chapters two and three or between chapters five and six
-Hamilton is having an anxiety attack(so theres a trigger warning, sry)
-Hamilton and Jefferson were previously fighting over something ? I forgot what tho ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Now that I think about it, I think it was in chapter six after (spoilers) Hamilton and Jefferson got in a fight about telling Laurens that Hamilton is pregnant. I think this scene is what was originally supposed to happen, but i decided to change it last minute or the chapter got deleted and I had to restart (which has happened multiple times before).

Anyways, thanks for coming to my TEDTalk, enjoy the show!

⚠️TW: panic attack (?)

Hamilton's head hung over the toilet. It was three in the morning, and classes started at eight. He learned to tie his hair up when he went to bed so it would be out of the way in the morning. He felt Jefferson rub his back as he retched into the toilet. He felt horrible for waking him. He'd have to make it up to him. When he was done, he leaned against the wall. "I'm sorry I woke you up," he finally said.

"It's okay, I couldn't really sleep anyways." Jefferson was quiet for a moment, looking lost in thought. "I think it's time you tell John," he finally said.

Hamilton felt his heart beat pick up. "N-no, I can't," he muttered. "Besides, I don't even know if I'm going to keep it."

"If you were going to get an abortion you would have already," Jefferson countered. Hamilton looked away from Jefferson. "John is your boyfriend, I think he deserves to know."

"I just can't tell him, okay? It's not that simple."

"All you have to do is shoot him a text saying 'Hey, I'm pregnant!' It sounds pretty simple to me."

"I can't tell him," Hamilton said louder.

"Why not?" Jefferson argued, starting to get frustrated by his stubbornness, but also scared by his fear of Laurens.

"Because," Hamilton yelled. Tears streamed down his face, and he tried his best to keep himself from shaking and his breathing regular. He couldn't break down, not in front of Jefferson.

"Because why?" Jefferson yelled back. "It's not all about you. It's not just your baby. It's John's baby too."

That's when Hamilton snapped. "Because I don't know if it's John's baby!" he screamed. His breath hitched as he felt tears stream down his face, his body shaking violently. His breathing began to speed up. Oh no, why did he lose his patience and tell Jefferson? That was the last thing he wanted. His chest felt tighter and tighter as be curled up into a ball, wrapping his arms around his head reflexively and pulling at his hair. He felt a hand touch his shoulder and he screamed, shooting back out of the hand's reach. He lifted his head to see Jefferson staring at him with concern and fear.

Hamilton shook his head, trying to show he's fine, but only managing to make it worse. He turned his head facing away from Jefferson and shut his eyes tight, silently begging Jefferson to go away.

"Hamilton, I'm right here," Jefferson's voice said from behind Hamilton. He shook his head, causing his body to shake more. "Hamilton, what do you need?"

"B-Binder..." Hamilton whispered as he shook. "O-Off.." For a moment he though Jefferson didn't hear him, until he felt the ghost of Jefferson's fingers travel up his shirt and gently unhook his binder. When the last hook was undone, the binder fell away from Hamilton's chest and Jefferson immediately pulled his hands out from under Hamilton's shirt. Hamilton put his hand on the ground and felt it become easier to breath, but not by much. He still took in struggling gasps of breath and his body still shook, only his chest didn't feel as tight.

Hamilton felt a hand be placed on top of his and his breath hitched. He looked over at Jefferson cautiously, who was turned away with a reddened face, then at Jefferson's hand on Hamilton's. Hamilton turned his hand over and laced his finger's through Jefferson's hand, then looked straight ahead and he slowly began to control his breathing. It took a while, and by a while I mean an hour, but Hamilton was finally breathing normally again, and his body only shook slightly.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Jefferson asked quietly. Hamilton looked over at Jefferson, who was staring at Hamilton with nothing but care in his eyes. Hamilton nodded slowly. "Did you cheat on him?" Hamilton shook his head no, tears springing to his eyes. "Then..." Hamilton looked up at Jefferson and nodded, tears falling on his cheeks. "Oh god." He pulled Hamilton into a hug, who started sobbing into the taller man's shirt.

The rest of the chapter resumes as normal, I don't feel like copying and pasting everything, but Hamilton has a panic attack at the thought of telling Laurens about being pregnant, and Jefferson finally learns the truth about what's happening between Laurens and Hamilton.

Thank y'all for reading, thank y'all for the endless support, I love you all, and I'll see y'all later! Byeee~!