Dangerous Secrets

Chapter Seventeen - Memories

when i wrote this on word it seemed longer :( 

oh well. i hope you enjoy this.. 

15 more votes untill the next chapter... how about a few comments too... 

itll only take a moment.. as your reading this just move you mouse over to the little orage box and click on it.. maybe if you do.. illl write the chapters quicker.. ya never know// 

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*** Read authors note at the end about the mistakes

HADDIEANS POV 

Dear Diary, Dad says that keeping a diary will help me get through all this, as if writing it all on paper will instantly make me feel better? Do you think it will work? What do you think? Silence that's all I'm getting from you, what's the point in talking to an inanimate object if it wont talk back??  

This was a sucky idea.

Hello? Diary? 

Yeah, laugh all you want, I'm back.  

I feel as if I should be laying under the doona with a torch writing this.  

I talked to dad again about this stupid idea, he said to give you the facts. Okay you want facts?  

Heres the facts. 

Name: Haddiean Lucus Perry 

Age/Race/Height: 18 ¾ casicasian cacaus Caucasian 5"10 

Thoughts: well, let me think, my mother killed my best friend/ twin sister, then came back to try to kidnap my son, (did I mention him? Well he's 6 months old, tiny and the light of my world) then when my girlfriend (IE Love of my LIFE and reason for existing) foiled that plan, she decided to drop and run literally.  

Benji (= Kid) is fine no thanks to the rag of a woman that gave birth to me.  

I know your thinking, Benji, that anem sounds familiar, scrolling up through the story of my life and finding where it says, Benji: named after Haddieans little brother, ohhh swoon, sigh, OMG, thats so cute.  

Well mabe its time I told you about Benji, my brother.  

He was 15 when he died. He as a good kid until one of Lur Mothe Lurinda's guys got to him, drugged him up, shot him so high he was flying with the birds, did it more than once and got him hooked. I loved Benji, he was the best, we were as close as two brothers could be, peas in a pod you could say.  

After that he was never the same, like all junkies, he'd do anything for a shot. Unlike most, he didn't go crazy and all that shit, he stayed cool, in his head, he went out and worked the streets, picking pockets and shit like that, had nimble fingers did my Benji Boy.  

Thats not what got him in the end though. Lurinda's what got him.  

My God, just thinking about it has the blood burning anger coming back, she used him on one of her things she does, to this day, I'm still not entirely sure what it was, what she did, mabe it was gambling or grifts, but it was something bad.  

This one had a lot of bad guys involved, she used Benji, told him she would meet him at the local park, gave him an envelope with 50k in it and told him she was being watched and to meet her at the park where she'd take it off him. 

Well Diary, she told her Meet something different entirely. He grabbed Benji, and when the smart kid he was fought back, the guy smashed him up, took the money Lurinda owed him, and had delivered via Benji-mail, and shot Benji Boy in the chest, took him hours to die, Lurinda said she found him at the park, shot up and bleeding and called an ambo, well, I know better, coz my Benji Boy told me, he did, he-

Okay, I'm back and I'm sane. No more tears, I'm going to finish writing this and get it all out. 

Benji Boy told me when he was lying in the hospital bed all about it, and everything else, the drugs, which I already knew about but I let him talk, and the stuff Lurinda did, does or whatever tense you want to use.  

And I sat there thinking, My God Benji, and all through this you loved her, and loved her and you believed her lies even as she beat us black and blue? 

You want to know what surprises me though? That day, that day was both the best and the worst day of my life, the day my brother died.  

Because on the day my brother died, he told me with such strength that I almost believed he wasn't dying, that he hated her, that woman, that she wasn't out mother, and she never was or will be.  

That's what made it the best day of my life. For those five minutes.

Hey Diary, just reading over what I wrote the other day; and you know what? It really does put everything back into perspective. I miss Benji Boy, but I know he'd be happy that I've made something of my life, sortof, as much as I can at my age.  

He'd love Benji, he'd delight in teaching Benji new things. And in pissing me off, as always, and he'd always come up with these little ideas, and we'd annoy the living shit out of Jody.  

Benji Boy was one of the reasons we moved away. He was killed a year ago two days from now.  

God, just writing this is depressing, I'm even depressing myself. 

Okay, something else, what to talk about.. 

Uh.. did you hear that song on the radio the other day? You know the one with the drums and the- oh what the hell your a book.  

Jump the wall.. no 

Uhh, love the wall... 

No love the fall, good song.... 

..... 

.. ya da da, ya da da da da 

Hey look!, Jody's got Benji on the swing, and he loves it, up and up an up and ahh too high !! and he starts to whimper, so she goes lower, and he's laughing again. 

You know what? Screw Lurinda, screw her sideways, this is my life and I'm living it. In 2 months, we'll graduate, and I'll go to uni to do my mechanics and engineering degree and I'll become a mechanic.  

Diary? 

Sometimes you're the windshield, and sometimes?  

Sometimes you're the bug.

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Okay.. i just want to tell you.. i did the spelling mistakes on purpose.. its a diary guys.. theres gunna be mistakes. 

its not showing here, but there is some strikethroughs in the words so some are "crossed out" but i dont think they came up.. sorry guys.. just imagine

Go to my profile and Check out my current story; Catch the Sunrise. Its about a girl who has to deal with the world and the people responsible, after the death of her twin brother.