5sos And 1D sickfics/Imagines

Eating disorder-michael Clifford

               ⚠️⚠️ Warning ⚠️⚠️
I'm putting this now so I don't get comments saying this trigger someone or something because I'm putting this out there this chapter may have the following
- depression
- suicidal thoughts
- self harm
- abusive relationship
- hate
- eating disorders
- or suicide
So don't read if those things trigger or upset you read at your own risk I'm putting that out there now don't say I didn't warn you!

  ⚠️ !!READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!!⚠️
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Michael POV
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Fagot
Freak
Gross
Slut
Gay
Ugly
Fat
No body
Why are you here?

As I read through these I look down thinking there true, wait they are. I look at my wrist's that were iching, iching to be cut, itching to make the pain go numb on the rest of my body, itching to bleed.
'You shouldn't fucking be alive you fagot you have no point you gay fat fagot, go and make room for a new pure good soul fucking fagot' I seen it it was true I was fat, I was a fagot, and I knew I wasn't straight. I ran into my bathroom tears threatening to spill from my eyes that were burning.  I grabbed a razor blade and cut it was the only way, the only way out, the only way to feel the pain go numb, the only I would get better, the only way the world would get better. All I remember was me thinking that and then the world went black.
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Ashton's POV
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We heard a thud from Michael's room. I ran to him room and ran to the bathroom. I knocked once and tried the handle the door didn't budge.... It was locked. I knew it wasn't the best idea but... I kicked the door down. All we see is a small skinny to skinny as a matter of fact, laying on the floor, cuts on his wrist, messy dyed blue hair, a tear stained face, and blood dripping from the cuts. Luke started to freak out. We bent down and lifted him. When came back to and he sat up in bed we had all left his room but I was near by.
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Michaels POV
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I wake up in my bed shit someone found me. I sit up and look around. I look down at my arms and there bandaged up. Oh god it was Ashton! I got up and grabbed my phone. Luke came in and smiled at me.
"We're going out to eat tonight so get ready please" he said. I nodded and went and got dressed in a long sleeve shirt and some jeans. I walked out and I walked up to Ashton. He smiled at me. We walked out I sat in the back and started out the window.
"You okay mike?"  Ashton asked. I nodded. We got there and I ordered lemon roasted chicken, and the boys order what ever they got. I ate it and when I was done I went to the bathroom puked it all up. The thing is I try to eat but I end up throwing it up I guess that's the bad part about being anorexic you puke up everything you eat.
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All the other boys POV
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Michael had finished eating and then got up and went to the bathroom we decided not to bring up what happened earlier. We all knew he was just gonna deny it. We all went into the bathroom and seen Michael throwing up what he had just ate. Ashton bent down and rubbed his back. The cuts, the older cuts, and the even older cuts, and him now throwing up like this we were all starting to put it together.
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Ashton's POV
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Once Michael finished I picked him up and carried him to the car we  had already paid. We got home and I sat Michael on the couch. I looked at him.
"Please explain, why Mike?" I asked. He just looked down I knew if I yelled it would only make it worse but I couldn't go completely easy. I wasn't going to get utterly pissed, even if I already was. He looked up with salty tears falling down his face.
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Michaels POV
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Ashton asked why.... I knew if I told him he would be pissed and yell and shit and I couldn't even take someone slightly raising there voice to me, I sure as hell couldn't handle someone yelling. My mental state is completely below it's point. I wasn't okay. Rather I said I was or not, I knew I wasn't.
"Please mike why, please tell us" Ashton said calmly once again.
"I want out of misery and pain, you guys would be better off without me, I'm just a gay, fat fagot that shouldn't he here in the world, I'm a waist of space!" I choked put crying. Ashton pulled my shirt up and I fought but I was to weak and he won. Him and the boys seen how skinny I was. I was fucking gross, I had no point. I cried. Then Ashton made me show him my wrists. He seen every cut, it's like he knew that wasn't it I had them on my legs to. He made me strip to my boxers. I just cried harder. They seen every cut I had done since about 13 or 14. They seen how skinny I was which was TO skinny, I only weighted 75 ponds, the others all weighted at least in the hundreds and I was way under weight. I cried and Ashton pulled me into a hug and comforted me. The others joined in not much later.
"Shhh Mikey were gonna help you and get you the help we need we'll fix everything, Don't listen to the ones saying this shit because there just jealous, let it out mike" Ashton reassured. I cried and I cried for what seemed forever. I looked up at Ashton. "What's wrong with me Ashton why and I like this Normal people don't do this to themselves!" I cried out and sobbed. He just held me.
"Nothing is wrong with you mike!" Ashton soothed to me.         
"I've done it myself I've cut, Luke has starved himself, and Calum has tried to end it a few times" Ashton said.    "So if one of us is a freak for doing it I believe that makes all of us freaks" ashton said.
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Thank you for the idea bragingrights I enjoyed writing this chapter it's such a deep topic and if any of you are going g through it and want to talk DM me! And if you can't I might tell my Instagram  later just ask and I will tell you if you need someone to talk to I know you may not know me personally but i will listen I promise!