Wings

51. Alexa

No one was supposed to know about Jessica except me and Matt and Darlien. I ran away from all that after the accident. The past always catches up to bite you in the ass.

I thought I'd hold it down. Years of people like him taught me that if you snapped hard enough, they'd back off and hate you like they were supposed to. Of course, judging by the black, shimmering wings on my back, Alex didn't care what he was supposed to do.

And then he started crying.

"You're hurting me!" He cried. My train of thought stopped dead in its tracks. "You're hurting me..," he repeated, softer this time. "Please..."

The rest of his words dissolved into quiet sobs. Jessica cried like that once when I got drunk and convinced myself that we needed to break up. Her face got all red and blotchy, her green eyes blurring behind tears as she begged me to stay. The next morning, I'd found her crying again, her head in my chest. She'd made me promise to never leave again.

I dropped my hand over Alex's. "Stop crying," I grumbled. I saw him look up, but immediately looked away. I focused on anything else. The strange mint color of the curtain blocking the starlight. The whiteness of the sheets, the bareness of my pale arms. The pictures of smiling children on the walls, or the full glass of water to my left.

Anything to drown out his pitiful sniffles and sobs. "Please, stop crying," I whispered, taking the edge out of my tone.

I felt his eyes on the side of my face, but refused to look at him. The red pen sitting on the grey counter was just too interesting.

"She hits me," he finally blurted out.

"I know," I replied. I couldn't forget. The bruises on his neck and abdomen were forever etched into my mind.

Alexander kept talking, gushing out words between whimpers as he gulped down more tears. "I hate her."

I almost laughed, but it only came out as a quick breath. "You don't hate her. You love her."

"I don't," he tried to assure me.

"You probably always will."

"She... She r-raped me."

Without my permission, my eyes snapped up to look at him. His big white wings weren't so big anymore. They wilted like dying flowers. Pools of abandoned feathers gathered around his feet. Blood stained his toned arms and white shirt. His dark hair fell around his puffy green eyes, his red nose the only place on his face darker than his pink lips.

His eyebrows furrowed up in pain, but some light entered his eyes as his met mine.

"She what?"

Alex quickly looked away. "I... She'd push m-me around and force me to..." He just shook his head, trying to loose the memories.

Blood pounded through my body. The heart monitor to my left went crazy. I tried to take deep breaths. "Why didn't you tell anyone?" I asked, trying to keep calm.

"She... I... I thought I-I loved her." Alex took a deep breath, closing his eyes. He shook his head and said nothing else.

I filled the silence. "It was my fault."

"What?"

"I was drunk, and..." I blinked tears away, but they just escaped down my cheeks. "I was driving us home, hit an eighteen wheeler..."

He gulped. "Th-That scar?"

I nodded. "My car door bent and shit. I got it easy compared to..." My throat closed and I took my hand from his to cover my face. "God, fuck." My voice wobbled, weak and pathetic. It was like he'd just popped the bubble I'd used to protect myself all these years. Tears flowed out, enough for two years of mourning.

When I was finally released from the hospital, all the way back in August, I stayed with Jessica's family. They said they wanted me. I stretched too far and split open the stitches along my stomach, and all this blood poured out.

That's what this crying felt like.

Alexander grabbed my hand again, sniffling. "Hey, hey, hey... Don't cry, princess..." He pulled my hand to his beautiful face, peering up at me with sympathy in his green eyes. His soft lips pressed into the back of my hand.

"Why did you do that?" I whispered meekly. I wasn't sure what I was asking about. Why had he kissed me? Or why did he make me do things like this?

He shrugged slightly, looking away bashfully. "I think it's cuz I love you."

My heart monitor screamed.