High
Hello.
Smoke fills my lungs. Sitting on a roof top, I don't think I've ever felt more alive, yet i felt so alone. Scared. Ignored. Getting a tad tired and bored. Yet i still feel alive, yet i still feel alone. I'm not alone, I'm with friends who make me happy, am i? do they make me happy? why do i feel alone?
Scared : windows open, joint in hand, descending from the roof top. I'm an idiot and in public, I'm in public why do i feel alone? Waking around. Many laughs are shared. Sirens. Scared. Paranoia engulfed and took over.
Paranoia engulfed and took over.
Public. Much more public. Hatred, it's towards me, i can feel it suffocating me.
Hatred, it's towards me, i can feel it suffocating me.
Pizza place. Nerves, they slowly creep their way into my system, invading my blood stream. Is that possible? I don't think so I don't know.
I'm not sure who these people are but they are talking about a box. Showing the size of it with their hands but not mentioning what would be in it if it was really there.
Confusion, when i look to the right i also see confusion. The pizza. The "cops".
Terror,
Laughter,
Sadness,
A lot more laughter,
Nerves,
Stress,
Freedom,
Scared,
Laughter,
Drowsiness.
Feeling too much at once puts you in a state of shock. Like i was now the deer in the headlights, not the driver behind the truck.
I always feel regret and sadness. I always feel loneliness and terrified, like as if huge wall that protected me had been knocked down. I always end up doing something wrong, people are always mad.
I always fuck up. I'm not suppose to be miserable this is suppose to make me happy.
I always fuck up.
