New Beginning || JJK

chapter 29 ,,Time heals wounds they say"

Y/N's pov
I started writing on my notebook again...
I started drawing again...
But these thoughts and drawings aren't something positive at all.
The debut is coming closer and all I did was practicing my ass off.
I avoided the others...
Even HaEun and Jungkook because I didn't want them to find out about me and my issues....
I know that it's wrong...
But the wish of ending it all is there.
Areum, Jiwoo, HaRin, Hae and Eun tried to distract me but I didn't even tell them what is going on..
I didn't tell anyone except Yoongi..
But I'm avoiding him too.
I need time for myself to calm myself down...
I'm so sorry for everyone I kept ignoring but if they found out, they would be worried and take care of me.
The girls should focus on the debut, the boys should focus on their career....They shouldn't think about me.
There are things that are way more important than my problems.
I received a phone call so I checked the caller ID and it was unknown.

,,Hello"
,,Hello Y/N. It's nice to hear your voice."
,,Oh ehm.. who are you?" I asked a bit nervous since the voice was really familiar.
,,Now you don't even recognize my voice ? Outch that hurts babe" the male responded with a sweet but cracking voice.
,,Stop calling me babe!" I told him a bit angry...
,,What do you want Mark?"
,, I want you back..." he giggled as some tears of anger left my eyes and I immediately wiped them away.
,,I can't, I won't ... I have a boyfriend and I'm really happy with him!" I replied with confidence but still looked at the ground.
,,you have a? You already forgot me-?"
I interrupted him by replying a bit sharp.
,,I left at August.. it's been half a year now. Just get over me. I won't come back"
After that I hang up and started writing at my notebook again.

,,Time heals all wounds they say.
But it's a lie.
Time covers the wounds with scars and tissues them, so that the pain will less but they never completely fade.
You get scars from actions that hurt you and they will always stay with you.
The scars are meant to make you stronger and so you will grow...
But the pain doesn't go away... it's just less with the time.
Why is life so complicated?
I'm over him and happy with Jungkook.
But somehow his voice makes me feel something.
Fear
Pain
sadness
numbness
And at the same time nothing at all..
Just like in my other note I'm asking you to make it all stop...
I can't breathe with the pain in my heart...
It Hurts so much..
Please help me..."
~Y/N

While writing I felt tears running down my cheeks, right onto the paper I was writing at.
It was the first time I asked for help.
I always thought that I was strong enough to handle it.. but I just need help right now.
I need to stop the cutting and crying myself to sleep...
Because now i know..
,,That the time won't heal my wounds"

___________________________________

Heyyyyy my lovely readers💜
Today I only wrote a short chapter and I'm really sorry for that but maybe now you know what I mean with those little chapters with only a sad notes...
Yep that's right,
Y/N's thoughts and attentions are growing darker than ever...
But will someone help her?
Will she be able to get over her sadness and pain?
Find out in the next chapter. 💜

PS.
THANK YOU FOR 800 READS I LOVE Y'ALL SO MUCH.
I'M SO JUNGSOOK OML.
I PURPLE YOU.💜
-Author-nim.💜