Killer Queen|✔️ (Book 1)

6. You Sunk My Battleship

A: "Tayl, you have to calm down! You're freaking me out!"
T: "How could it be empty!? It's been three weeks! How could he have said nothing!? I think I'm gonna have another panic attack!"
A: "Do you need insulin!?"
T: "...I said I'm having a panic attack, not a diabetes attack, dipshit!"

  I was screaming into my phone to Ally, who was hiding in a bathroom stall at her grade school.
I hadn't gone to school, which became a horrible habit that year. The anxiety was so debilitating, I couldn't take it some days; I missed thirty-two days that year. I could barely talk, as my throat constricted, sounding dry and raspy like I'd swallowed thorns off a rose bush. I'd been up since the night before, mindlessly staring at my alarm clock until it hit noon and I knew Ally could talk. I hadn't moved, eaten or gone to the bathroom. I'm not even sure I blinked. I'd been trying to come up with reasons why Dan hadn't answered me but none of them seemed good enough.
A: "It's obvious what's going on here. He's embarrassed that you caught him and thinks you're angry and wanna make fun of him. I wouldn't answer someone if I thought that."
Her words released my throat from the death grip it was in and my air supply slowly flowed back through. He probably thought that I thought he was a total creep! It all made sense!
A: "Just explain yourself. I'm sure he thinks there's no way a senior girl would like him back, so he took it the wrong way."
T: "You have a point. It goes against all 80's movie logic...that's where most people turn to learn about life."
A: "....I don't think most people do that...that's just a another Taylorism. Go set him straight and I bet he'll be so relieved to finally move your relationship forward."
T: "You really think?"
A: "Yep. You know how I know that?"
T: "Because...I'm awesome?"
A: "That's right. Because you're awesome. High levels of fabulocity are not for the faint of heart."
T: "I always suspected that was my problem in life.
Ya know, being too awesome to live like God put me here as a sick joke amongst you normal people. It's hard to be a diamond in a rhinestone world, Ally."
A: "I don't have time for your woe-be-gone ramblings; my lunch is almost over. Go message him again and I'll check it when you're ready. What's your password?"
T: "Maneater1."
A: "Well, butter my ass and call me a biscuit...if that's true, you're slacking a little, lately."

     It took me the rest of the day to come up with, "Hey Dan, it's Taylor again. I saw you didn't answer my last message. I'm not mad or making fun of you, I was just wondering why you stare at me but don't ever talk to me." Not as poetic as I'd have liked, but whatever. I threw out my line again and had to wait for him to bite. I wondered if things would have gone better if I started with a simple hello, instead of the bold and brazen truth.

   

I spent that night flipping through year books from previous years, when I was more sociable. I found a picture of Dan's older brother in my freshman yearbook. He'd been a senior at the time and was the leader of the peer counseling group they made all the freshman take. I tolerated him hitting on me and would nicely decline his advances. If I would've known he had Dan for a brother, I would've put more effort into our relationship so I could've made house key replicas. He looked nothing like Dan, with his pasty pale skin, blonde curly hair and blue eyes. I'm not gonna name names but someone's mom needed a trip to Maury for mother's day.

    I flipped through pages of typical activity club pictures, sports teams, student council, senior baby pictures and senior...addresses? I had never noticed this page before. It said 'Wish Them Good Luck!' at the top and listed every seniors' home address through the next few pages. Why would you do that? There are crazy people, like myself, out there. My gears started grinding. Dan's brother was a senior. His address was in here. Dan lived at that address.

    I pulled out my laptop and brought up Google earth. I typed in the address and it gave me a bird's eye view of the property. I recognized the street, as I passed it on the bus every morning. It was twenty minutes away from my house. I felt my body start doing that funny thing where I couldn't control its actions and my mind was horrified at what my body was doing. What a kicker that was. Especially then, that I was grabbing my car keys and sneaking out to my car.

      I was on autopilot for the next twenty minutes. I didn't even remember starting the car. All I knew was, when I came to, I was parked across the street from Dan's house. It scared me that I didn't remember driving on the highway or getting off at any exits. It was a nice brick house, near the river front. Not too big, not too small. The lawn was kept and the landscaping was impeccable. I pulled out Daddy Dan's hunting binoculars that I'd brought with me, and surveyed each window, trying to see if I could catch a glimpse of anyone.

  
    I stayed until about 1:00 In the morning, when I couldn't bear to keep my eyes open any longer; without seeing anything that would've made the drive worthwhile. Pretty anticlimactic, I know, but I felt it necessary to mention, to grasp the severity of my "condition."  Being older and wiser now, I'm hoping the price of gas would've snapped me out of my stupor.

      

   The next day, Pen and I attended the first home football game of the season. I don't know if I dragged her there or she wanted to be there, but nonetheless, there we were. When the team ran onto the field, I saw Dan and his hot underaged ass in his tight gold football pants...which was totally ok for me to think at the time. He ran to the sidelines to adjust his helmet and turned around to scan the crowd. Our eyes met almost immediately.

     I decided he couldn't possibly see me well enough, so I forced Pen to move around to all different sections of the bleachers, as she cursed me the whole time and demanded an explanation. We ended up down at the field fence, right behind the team. I couldn't get a better view than that. I was directly to his left. I could've pulled his hair if I had a mind to. I was too close to make direct eye contact but he turned his head ever so slightly and shifted his eyes as far as he could, to watch me. He must've had double jointed eyeballs; that was so hot. I assumed he'd become addicted to basking in my presence and if he hadn't responded to me yet, he sure as hell would now.

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We could look at it from a positive standpoint and say I'm an awful clever little critter👑🎩 Comment & Vote!