⚠️ This is a true story, unfortunately.
🖤1st in a series
✅Completed
I labeled this as teen "fiction" because my target age group usually thinks of self-help books or text books when they hear "non-fiction" and don't realize a memoir reads like a...
The next day, I felt even worse. I couldn't stop sweating and I was starving but every time I ate, I'd throw it up. I'd try to stagger out of the detox fort and walk around to stretch my legs and feel like I'd run a marathon, achy and exhausted, by the time I got a few feet across my room. Kiwi closely monitored my water and Gatorade consumption and set up a spare tv in the fort to keep me occupied when I wasn't in and out of sleep or too exhausted to talk. My mom didn't check on me as much since he was there, so I didn't have to dodge too many questions. As far as she knew, it was a run of the mill flu. I still felt like I was in a loopy dream state and tried my darndest to act coherent but would find myself drifting off during conversations; talking about random things that made no sense. I felt so guilty that Kiwi thought he wasn't good enough and I'd kill myself over someone else. I felt guilty that I hadn't thought of him at all or appreciated that he'd tried to stop me from doing it in the first place. I clung to him like a baby sloth clung to its mother as she dilly-dallied through the tree branches, to make up for it. If he'd done that and I had to be here without him, I couldn't even imagine what a mess I'd be, so I understood his urgent need to be there and how nurturing he was being.
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That night, I was awoken by my phone. It lit up with another text from Lisa. I'd completely forgotten about the one from the night before. I hadn't bothered to look at my phone all, with so much other shit going on. It wasn't extremely late but Kiwi had already fallen asleep; having barely slept the night before because he was afraid I'd sneak off to try to kill myself again.
LISA TEXT: Teeeyler! Ur missing final review! Do u need me to save you our notes?
I thought her friendly concern was sweet, yet odd. She'd never texted me just because I'd been absent before. I was absent all the time and never heard from her any other day. I scrolled down to her next text.
LISA TEXT:We got more work today. I'll give ur stuff to Pen Incase u don't plan on coming back for awhile!
I made a face at my phone. That was an odd choice of words. Incase I don't plan on coming back for awhile; what the fuck did that mean? Like I was a vigilante on the run for committing a murder.
TAYLOR TEXT: Hey! I've just been sick...it's not a big deal. Thanks tho.
LISA TEXT: Ur welcome! We were all wondering where u were! We thought u left cuz of Dan.
My heart immediately started racing. What happened to Dan!? Was he hurt? Dead? My mind and body had forgotten that I didn't have to care anymore. My heart didn't have to frantically pound and my nerves didn't have to self-destruct. I should've been relieved if he was dead. Then, whether things worked out or not, he'd still have died, so it didn't matter.
