⚠️ This is a true story, unfortunately.
🖤1st in a series
✅Completed
I labeled this as teen "fiction" because my target age group usually thinks of self-help books or text books when they hear "non-fiction" and don't realize a memoir reads like a...
I met Kiwi in front of the school, the next morning, to get the script I was to follow on our pretend relationship. It dawned on me during the bus ride in, that I had already told my friends that I was dating Dan and had no idea how I was going to explain this. Kiwi was good friends with Jasmine's boyfriend, Quinton. I knew that had to be the first person he told. That meant Quinton told Jasmine and she told Lisa and Missy.
K: "The story is that I kissed you at the concert and confessed my undying love to you. I asked you out and you said yes, the end." T: "Yeah, you did. Stop kissing me in front of people. That's why everyone is saying this shit and Ally won't shut up about it." K: "I only do it 'cause I know you hate it and it gets you riled up. I'm just messing with you, chill out." T: "Well that's a pretty unromantic story. That's the best you could come up with?" K: "I'm not very romantic, it gets the job done. The whole school probably knows, so don't fuck this up." T: "Me? I invented the 'pretend you're someone you're not' way of life." K: "If you say so...you don't strike me as a very good liar." Hearing him say that almost broke my heart. He didn't know me very well at all. Those are the best kinds of liars; the ones who you think are incapable of telling lies. He took my hand and opened the door to the main hall. K: "I notice you said to stop kissing you in front ofpeople...not to stop kissing you, period."
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Everyone was staring at us when we walked in the first floor hall. It was clear that they already knew. It was like time stood still. I'd never had so much attention on me and I couldn't get it over with fast enough. I didn't understand why anyone cared what Kiwi did or what they thought we were going to do that was so interesting that they couldn't take their eyes off us. I didn't want to admit it, but I knew some of my concerns were from my own personal insecurities that I thought people could somehow sense and I didn't want to be exposed. It's not that I felt like I was unworthy of Kiwi, as in high school status hierarchy, but unworthy from my own personal struggles and internal battles.
I treated him horribly and he treated me the way everyone else treated him; like I was the center of his universe. I felt like everyone was looking at us because I was an evil devil incarnate and they wanted to see if I'd snap and assume my ultimate form, ripping out his jugular. Why was he with such an awful person? It made him look bad for putting himself in harms way and not having the self-worth to go after any normal, sweet, vivacious girl; but they didn't know the real him and how he could never be with a girl like that.
