Killer Queen|✔️ (Book 1)

16. Take This to Your Grave

      Mom dropped me off at Kiwi's house the next night. Again, he was made to wait for me on the porch. I jumped out of the car before it even came to a complete stop and ran toward the house; fearful she would change her mind. Patti rolled down her window and started frantically waving to get Kiwi's attention.
M: "Kiwi! Honey! If anything happens to my kid, I'll hunt you down and kill you, then I'll seek out every member of your family and make their lives a living hell, ok!?"
K: "Ok, Patti! Sounds like a plan!"
M: "You kids have fun!"
They smiled and waved goodbye to each other as she drove away. I noticed his face change to a nervous expression.
K: "She would actually do that, is the scary thing."

       
      As soon as I got in the house, his mom ambushed me with greetings and hugs and how are you's and what do you want for dinner's and she's so glad Kiwi and I are friends. I could tell he was mortified, as he pulled me upstairs. I didn't understand why she was so happy to see me. I assumed he had tons of girls in and out of there, like a Holiday Inn. I thought she would think I was just another one of his tramps.

         
     He apologized profusely for her behavior, as I flopped onto the bed, exhausted. I didn't feel quite as anxious as I had the first time I was over. I wasn't afraid to lay on the bed or felt like I needed to stay four feet away from him at all times. If he was going to do something, I assumed he would've by now, so I was right in my assertion that we had no feelings for each other that would warrant any want for physical contact.

     He hopped on the bed, lying next to me and staring up at the ceiling. I wondered if he felt the strange connection to me, that I felt to him. Maybe that was why he let me walk all over him. Well...at that point it was more of a tip toe.
K: "Hey, T-bone?"                
T: "Hmm?"
K: "What if it's your birthday, right? And you have to blow all the candles out for your wish to come true...but your wish is for one to stay lit. What do you do?" 
T: "...Is this the kind of shit you think about all day?" K: "Someone has to ask the tough questions. Be honest, does wanting to be a mermaid make me gay?"
T: "Most likely."
K: "Just as I suspected. If you see a bigfoot in your yard but then his cousin from out of town shows up, would you say bigfoots or bigfeet?"
T: "Wait, I got one. If you had to write an autobiography about me, what would you call it?"
K: "Hmm....probably, 'Hey, I saw that! Put it back!'"
I burst out laughing, almost choking on my spit.

     I sat up to catch my breath and saw my picture still up on the mirror.
T: "I see you stuck me up there."
K: "Yeah. You're next to my dad."
T: "...What happened to him? You never told me." This was a vital step in controlling him. I needed to get him to open up to me about emotional issues. I needed him to see that he could tell me anything and I'd listen and be supportive and gain his emotional trust.
K: "He suffocated. He was eating in the middle of the night and choked; no one was awake to hear him. My mom found him on the floor in the kitchen, the next morning."
I felt my stomach lurch. It was so monotonous, it could happen to anyone. I imagined finding Patti, dead in the kitchen. A wave of dread washed over me, as I actually felt bad for him.
T: "I'm so sorry, Kiwi. Are you ok, though? Seriously?
K: "...No. I'm not ok."

     That's one of those things you ask people as a reflex. Then they always say yes as a reflex, and neither of you even contemplated what the other said. I'd never had anyone say no before. Same thing with how are you or good morning. I'd never come across someone who actually told me how they were truly doing. Thank God.
T: "You seem fine. I've never seen you upset."
K: "It's all a fucking show, Taylor. I don't wanna be popular. I don't want everyone to love me or fall all over me; I hate it. I just wanna be left alone, but if I go with it and I'm funny and loud and act like I love the attention, I don't have to think about anything else. I hate everyone who talks to me. I can't tell you how many times I've gone in the bathroom just to stand in there and cry because I can't take it."
I couldn't hide how shocked I was, as I listened to him. He wasn't who I thought he was. I wasn't pretending anymore, as I found myself actually caring about how he felt.