Killer Queen|✔️ (Book 1)

28. Did You Respond When Called Upon?

K: "I don't think I wanna do the play this year." "...Why not? We need you." K: "I just need a break." "But it's your last year and we wrote the lead specifically for you."
K: "I'm sorry. I've done it the past three years, I'm just not up for it."
"...Clean these chairs up and put 'em in rows like I told ya to!"

    I heard yelling and chairs being thrown around the cafeteria when I got down there. I stayed outside, waving to Kiwi until he saw me through the glass doors. I'd never seen the choir teacher get that angry but apparently he had pretty bad anger issues. He ended up getting fired because he told a kid he was going to come to his house and shoot him because he couldn't memorize a song. I was scared and I wasn't even involved. I hated yelling or any type of loud noises. That's what always kept me in line as a child. I absolutely hated when my mom yelled at me. No beatings, no belt whipping, no punishments; I did not want to hear Patti yell, so I was on the straight and narrow all day, every day. Combine a rocket launching, a brigade of fire trucks and a building collapsing, and you might understand a tenth of what Patti sounds like when she yells. Even if there was a fight going on in a store and I was in no way involved, I would freak out just that there was yelling going on around me.               

Kiwi came through the doors with an apologetic face.
T: "Is it really that upsetting that you won't do the play?"
K: "I'm the best singer slash performer in the school. He knows the play is gonna be an embarrassment without me. Did I mention I'm also the best looking? I'm a slasher; I can be all those things at once."
T: "Why don't you wanna do it?"
K: "I'm just stressed out. I don't feel like memorizing lines and showing up at rehearsals. Not to mention, I'd have no time to hang out with you anymore."
T: "You're stressed out 'cause of me, aren't you? You can tell me the truth. I know I've been such a pain in the ass with Dan and bossing you around."
I didn't know where all of that word vomit was coming from. I mean, I knew it was all the stuff I kept deep down inside but I usually pushed it down into the black abyss of my soul and left it there to rot. I almost wanted to throw up, as the guilt, remorse and disgusting compassion rushed threw me.

It only lasted for a second, as it soon found an opening and circled the drain of my said abyss and fell back inside. He hugged me, pressing my face into his chest to stop me from talking. I didn't understand why he didn't want to hear my apologetic word vomit. There was no way he could've thought I didn't do anything wrong and he wasn't owed some type of apology. I compared myself to Charlie Manson and Kiwi to one of those dumbass girls that thought he could do no wrong, even after he told them to murder people and didn't shower.
K: "You're the best thing that's ever happened to me, Princess. I swear it's nothing you did."
T: "If I ever get on your nerves, just tell me."
I said that knowing he knew better then to ever say such a thing but to make it look like the invitation was open.
K: "Never gonna happen. I told Dan to meet us in the hall before English."
He kissed my cheek and turned to go back into the cafeteria.
T: "Do you kiss all your friends?"
He stopped before going through the doors, still smiling but looking confused.
T: "You said you're touchy-feely with all of your friends. Do you kiss all of them too?"
K: "No. Just you."
T: "Why?"
K: "Just a habit, I guess. I don't even realize I do it, anymore. Do you want me to stop?"
I wanted to say yes because that's what a normal friend would say. I tried to force out a 'yes' before I could overthink it, but it came out wrong.
T: "No."
K: "I didn't think so."

    When Religion was over I considered telling Kiwi to tell Dan that I was sick and we could do it another day. As we walked down toward the meeting spot, my knees started to turn to jelly and I got this horrible pain in my stomach. We were only doing the official introduction that day. I'm still not sure of Kiwi's logic to separate the intro from the conversation but whatever, I didn't question it. Kiwi knew Dan better than me, so I assumed he knew what was best. As we approached the classroom, I felt like I was marching into battle and I was one of the soldiers up front that got shot at first.

We had been standing there waiting for a few minutes and we were going to be late for class if he took any longer. Kiwi let out a loud sigh and left me standing in the hall, as he ran the opposite way and down the other stairwell.
He emerged a few seconds later, gripping Dan by the collar and leading him down the hall like a dog on a leash. Hi didn't seem like enough.
I wanted to say I love you.
No cryptic messages, no hidden undertones, no fancy wording.
I love you.

The closer he got to me, I could see his eyes changing colors. Bronze. Copper. Hazel. Honey. Gold. He walked up to me; probably a little closer then he needed to be. He was a few inches taller than I was. He was smiling. I took that as a good sign. I think Kiwi noticed we were just staring at each other, not speaking and the bell was about to ring.
K: "Dan, this is Taylor. Taylor this is Dan...as I'm sure everyone is aware."
T: "Hi, Dan!" I about yelled and waved too enthusiastically.
D: "Hi."
He turned and went into his classroom. Kiwi and I were left standing alone in the hall. It was over as quickly as it began, but it was good enough for me.
K: "That went...well."
T: "I think I peed."

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