Killer Queen|✔️ (Book 1)

35. We're Sorry, Your Ribcage Appears To Be Empty. Please Try Again Later.

This was it. The main event.

      I finally had a full day in school to talk to Dan. Kiwi and I got down to the cafeteria early and sat at a table in the second room. I'd done so much prepping and contemplating for this and had decided to create the illusion that I was doing homework. He'd come in and I'd say, "Master Daniel, please have a seat." In response he'd say, "Yes Madame, don't mind if I do." Then I'd start off by apologizing for hounding him, even though I wasn't sorry, and tell him it was all Kiwi's idea. Then I'd proceed by asking about all the ill communication, as friendly as possible but still firm enough to get an answer. Then close out with a marriage proposal.

       The bell rang. Kiwi rose from his seat to go fetch Dan from the other room. He was being        surprisingly supportive about the whole thing, probably assuming Dan would make an ass out of himself, so he was really no competition. I could barely grip the pen and pretend to write, my hands were shaking so badly. I felt my knees go weak under the table and that burning sensation start in my throat and seep down to my thoraces, dripping off my ribs. If it wasn't for the pills, I don't think I could've even been calm enough to sit there. I knew this was what I had been waiting for but all I could do was think about after this. After I talked to him, then what?  What was next for us? I couldn't stop thinking that if I got any more nervous I would spontaneously combust and picturing all the internet photos I'd seen of people that happened to, that were just a pile of ashes and bones in a chair. I didn't understand why it was so scary to get what I wanted.

     
I heard everyone talking in the other room. It felt like I had been waiting forever. The second bell rang and class was starting. There was no reason for this to be taking so long. Relief washed over me that maybe he was absent and I could count this as a trial simulation. I started to get up, to see what was going on when he walked in. Dan was standing there right in front of me.
T: "Dan..."
D: "Hey."
He smiled and proceeded to walk toward me, stopping right in front of my table.
T: "I'm sorry."
D: "For what?"
T: "For the messages and Kiwi asking you all that stuff."
D: "It's ok."
T: "Then why didn't you answer me? You stared at me for two years, let me have your screenname and everything, but you never responded or told me to stop. Why?"
He looked down at the ground and shrugged. I expected him to either say he didn't know or just walk away. I contemplated saying it didn't matter, so he didn't get upset, but he lifted his head and looked at me; making a serious face.
D: "I was too shy, I guess. I liked you and didn't know what to say...so I just didn't say anything."
T: "How could you be shy when I came to you? Obviously I liked you back."
D: "I don't know... I'm just not used to it."
T: "So, what do we do now?"
D: "I guess we could give it a try, you and me. I'm not afraid anymore."
He hugged me. It felt even better then I imagined. I wrapped my arms around him and melted into him. All my hard work, stress, misery, lies; it all paid off. He was mine, all mine and I...really need to stop lying.

Sorry, but this part really fucking sucks.
Here's what really happened.