Misfit

I

There's no reason, there's no rhyme
I found myself blindsided by

I'm part of those people who doesn't give a fuck about almost everything. As long as it does not concern me, I won't give you the attention you need. You can classify me as a person who is carefree. I build walls for years and cut ties even before they tie it around me. I'm like the most horrible person to be with. I end conversations quickly. Sometimes, words just come out of my mouth without even thinking about it. But who cares anyway? I'm that kind of person. I just don't give a fuck.

Or so I thought?

"What did you do this time, Odi?" Fuck. I messed up. This time, it's so bad.

"I messed up. I didn't know!" I was crying. I can't deal with another important person leaving me. It made me heartless. Pagod na ako magmakaawa pero pagod na din akong maiwan. Siguro ito na yung pinakadesperada kong gagawin sa buong buhay ko.

"Odi, what happened?" Nagtatakang tanong ni Amanda. She was clueless of what happened earlier. I don't have time to explain. God, ito lang yung hinihiling ko. Bakit hindi pa din p'wede?

A feeling that I've never known
I'm dealing with it on my own

"A, I don't have time to explain. Sorry, I kept this from you." I looked at her and she looks at me with sympathy. I don't really need that sympathy right now.

"What can I do to help you?" I looked up at her and smiled even though I'm desperately crying. Ito na ba ng karma ko sa lahat? Alam kong naging masama ako, pero may tao bang deserve ang ganitong sakit?

Odium, you're such a pathetic person. And I fucking know that very well.

***

Hello! This would be inspired by the song 'Malibu Nights by LANY'

I would be happy if you give criticism as I write the story. It would mean a lot. 

-RNDM