I can still remember the time when i first laid my eyes on Maddie, it was our Junior Year when she decide to shift course i was happy about since finally after admiring her from a far i can finally interact with her without thinking what people would think.
" Yes Trina, im on my way already dont worry yes, yes of course ill be there ill hang up na okay?" As i drop the call i accidentally bumped into someone stupid stupid why didnt i look on the way ugh
" Oh gad, im very sorry about that well let me help you with this" As i help her with her stuff it hit me this girl infront of is...
" Maddie Madayag"
" Yes that is me, im sorry for the trouble half of the fault was mine since im trying to find my new room i shifted from Econs kase so im not familiar with the rooms" how fvcking it is really her!
" Well if you want i can acxompany you since we have the same schedule naman pala"
" Oh really! Oh thank you thank you your a big help for me."
I know it was a dangerous game to enter but i didnt give a damn that time because my main goal was to be close to you, to show my love for you because from the moment i bumped into you i know that i like you already. As the days passed we get clicked and i was liking it we were always hanging out and stuff and in my perspective i felt that you somehow feel the same way that im feeling. It came to the point that you'll do IG Story with me as a content it made my heart flatter with those simple gesture i know some of your fans wont understand it because the famous Maddie Madayag was with me and not with her teammates, you made me feel special and im starting to fall for that.
Days turned into months and it felt like were a couple we were much clingy with each other watching tune up games together going to the mall to hang out and stuff until you made a IG Story tell to the whole world that i gave colors to your gray world, as soon as i read that i was jumping overjoyed from your simple gesture, it's been i think 6 months that we've been hanging out well more like dating when i build up all my courage to ask you for formalities sake, i went to the dorm and asked for you to one of your teammates. They said that apparently your with Her, the girl that you always talked about when we hang out. I tried calling you but you didnt answer any of my calls so i got home devastated. But a smile plaster on my lips when your name flashes through the screen i quickly open the message.
" Hi Zoe! Sorry earlier i was on a date with Bea and guess what! We are now officially a couple oh gad i cant wait to tell you the details see you tomorrow Z.
XOXO, Maddie 😽.
one word: Fuck! So all this time, all the feelings i invested was thrown in the trash? Why do you have to be so stupid Zoe Chu? Of course she wouldnt know that you love her because uou never actually tell her that!. I should have known that she was into Beatriz all along, the way she tells stories about her was really something she was admiring her very much! Stupid Zoe! Stupid! After i received that text from her the following days turn out to be a blunt. i became distant from her i know she notices it but i dont care i was broken heart, i need to mend my heart that was scattered to million pieces. Those sweet freaking gestures the clingy attitude those flattering words i was to blind to notices that she do that same treatment with her friends. i was so damn stupid to think that she'll fall for me and not treat me like a fvcking friend!
" Nakasimangot ka na naman dyan Chu, ang bagal mo kase eh, kung una pa lang sinabi mo nang mahal mo siya edi sana ikaw ung kasama niya" Jho sat beside me as we watch Maddie and Bea walking towards her car doing sweet gestures with each other. She was also my classmate on one subject. And she was also as stupid as me mahal niya din pala si Bea but apparently she also fell on the friendzone.
" Masakit no? Mahirap mamili kung ipaglalaban mo o papakawalan mo na lang siya. Pero alam mo narealize ko na kung talagang mahal mo ung isang tao kahit ganu kahirap, piliin mong wag siyang pakawalan"
" But we want to see them happy we dont want to be selfish Jho, ganun ko kamahal si Maddie to the point that ill choose her happiness over mine"
" I get your point Chu, pero wag mong papakawalan ung bagay o tao na ayaw mong makitang hawak na ng iba, kase dun mo lang marerealize at masasabi sa sarili mo na ang tanga ko pala pinakawalan ko pa siya" a tear escape from my eyes.
" Atleast i got the chance to experience how it felt like to be hers even though i know at the end of the day i'd still lose her id rather die than to see her cry" Jho gave me a sad smile before she tapped my shoulders and left me. And with that i rest my case. Maddie and I will always be just bestfriends. Para siya kay Bea just like Me Jho will always be Bea's go to person when she needs help. we were the super friends of the people we love secretly.
Sana nung una palang pala di na ko umaasa.
Di na ko naniwala na baka pwedeng maging kame.
Hindi kame pwede dahil may mahal na siyang iba bago pa man ako maging parte ng buhay niya.
Pinagtagpo kame para damayan ang isa't-isa at hindi kame tinadhana para magmahalan
Hindi na possibleng maging kame dahil may nagmamay-ari na ng puso niya.
Ayoko ng pahirapan pa ang puso ko at ipilit ang mga bagay na hindi naman mangyayari.
Susuko na kong mahalin ka at tatangapin kong hanggang dito na lang ang laban ko. Dahil kahit pagbalik-tarin ko man ang mundo.
Hindi Tayo Pwede 💔.
A/N Late Night Thoughts 12:53 January 11th.
